BITSS of Protective Behaviours
BITSS is an acronym for:
Body Ownership
Intuition
Touch
Say No
Support Network
BITSS began in 1998. My youngest child was at day care. I arrived to pick him up one afternoon and walked into a fight between several little boys.
“It’s a cock,” said one.
“It’s a willy,” said another.
“It’s a trouser snake,” laughed another little boy as he slapped his partners in crime on the back.
“It’s a penis,” said my three year old as he stomped his frustrated little foot. “It’s a penis, it’s a penis, it’s a penis!”
Oh, oh. The director invited us to her room. We were in trouble because my child said, “penis”.
As I listened to the directors explanation for our potential suspension (you can’t say penis or vagina, it’s rude), it dawned on me that my expectations of early educators and protective behaviour knowledge was too high. If we were relying on early educators to impart correct protective behaviour skills to our children, then we were in trouble. Just like other people, some early educators are terrified about protective behaviour talking. Also, if early educators are a representative group of the community, then one in three early educators would also have their own sexual assault issues. Undealt with personal issues makes it difficult to deal with similar social issues. It’s too hard so people stay away from it or use old myths taught to them as children (never mention those parts of the body; stranger danger, etc)
After facing suspension from day care for using inappropriate language, MY child (yes, sir, my child, not the other children who actually were using inappropriate words for the male private part) and I went home: he unhappy and angry because I got him into trouble (I told him his penis was a penis), me motivated to produce an easy model of protective behaviours that did not rely on early childhood educators training our children. A model that parents could use in their own homes to teach their own children. It had to be easy and it had to be fun.
BITSS was born after much research, consultation with parents and professionals and grouping of the five major protective concepts together: body ownership, intuition, touch, say no and support network - these are the BITSS that will help to keep your child safe from sexual assault.
The BITSS model uses protective play and teachable moments: activities and games that can be gently woven into everyday life. Research suggests that protective behaviours taught in school once every six months are insufficient to help children remember what to do in potentially dangerous personal situations. Reminders in the home, in the child’s every day life are the best way to keep your children safe.
If you’re wondering how to make sure your kids remember important safety rules about safety, use the BITSS model of protective play. To receive a FREE copy of “Parent Sense”, a 10 page protective play tutorial, register in our Safety Talk forum today.
Imaginif…BITSS of play kept our children safe.
Understanding Protective Behaviours in keeping Children Safe.
Five simple BITSS to help keep kids safe
When Should I Start Teaching my Child about Protective Behaviours
September 30th, 2007 at 8:03 am
A very interesting model you’ve developed!
Michael
www.resiliencyforlife.com
October 29th, 2007 at 7:39 pm
I was a reg Nurse (worked in children’s ward too) and I taught our then 2yr to say penis … forward one -two years and he goes to the DR with my mother. The Dr (a GP) has a large anatomical poster on his wall of office - our son said - “DR why you have got a large ‘Penis’ “. My mother said the Dr thought it very funny ( she told the DR I was Nurse remember- I had actually gone to college/uni with his daughter). He said he didn’t hear any children or even patients call it a penis.
I think it is so important. I will have a good look at BITSS for my two little boys.
I was constantly hounded about ’sexual abuse’ by my motherinlaw because we had our eldest son in Cubs/Scouts etc she was so stereotyped in her views … it can be anyone.
October 30th, 2007 at 9:06 am
LOL re the Dr why do you have a large penis comment. How classic is that. I love it. Can I tell that story at my trainings please Baby?
There is a dearth of paranoia around calling body parts by their correct name. I fail to understand this - we don’t call an arm a different name!
Predators love to hone in our children who cannot say the correct name. Calling a penis a willy for example allows the predator a sign that this child’s thinking can be manipulated and that his support people will be too embarrassed to talk openly about “rude” things.
Penis and vagina, anus and breasts, anus and breasts. Head and shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes. Sing it. I can almost guarantee that your boys will remember the big words for their private parts and that other people will know better than to mess with your family.
Your comment re Scout masters and predators can be anyone is absolutely correct. Not all Catholic priests are sexual predators and not all Catholic Nuns are/were cruel child abusers with big canes (although, I did meet a few when I was at school!). Sexual predators look like your partner, your next door neighbour, the person that innocently smiles at your child while you are out shopping.
November 29th, 2007 at 4:31 pm
Wow how inspirational.
We have used proper names for their penis just like we do an arm I mean that is what it is. I read somewhere that if a child is molested and they end up in court there have been times that ruthless attorneys have used the childs lack of knowing the proper terms, saying that they didnt know what they were talking about. Ok this was back in the 80s before it was more known and out there but it stuck with me therefore I have always taught the kids their proper names that way there is no mistaking anything.
January 11th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
I am interested in receiving more information of this program. I live in British Columbia, Canada, and we have yet to receive programs such as this one. I’m excited to teach my child the safety precautions.
February 28th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
I think it is completely amazing that you exist and that you are doing the work you do. Tapping into your own Intuition is incredibly important, as well as teaching you child how to use their onw Intuition.