Time for Tea, kids and a Thera Tea leaf reading

Family time is something that seems to have almost disappeared from the modern family. Two incomes needed to survive, many work outside of the home families struggle to intimately know each other or even keep in touch with each other. Kids in daycare while Mum and Dad work during school holidays doesn’t make knowing me knowing you time any easier. During the school week, merely getting necessary chores done leaves no time for Mum and Dad to discover how kids are growing, changing and developing. What to do? How to collapse time so that we can all spend a little time together???

Been there, done that. It is a regret that I have now changed to a positive point of survival for my last child (age 12). It is school holidays and I have to work some but I refuse to work the way I used to. I refuse to miss out on knowing my youngest son. I refuse to be a parent like every other stressed out full time working parent that I frequently see in my counselling room or trainings. I refuse to be a hypocritical therapist helping others when I do not help my own.

I’ll just make myself a cup of tea while I decide how to do things differently – how to further collapse time so that I spend time with the Boy and earn some income. Perhaps gazing at my tea leaves will reveal what I can do to keep Boy child off the computer and in conversation with me for the snippets of time that I am available.

Tea; the most common beverage in the world after water. I drink tea. I drink a lot of tea. I spend a lot of time making and drinking tea. Ummmm…how can I involve Master 12 in the tea making, to keep him occupied and interested in being with me while I indulge my beloved drug of choice?

I recently won a book in a competition that Carole over at Rejuvenation Lounge ran. Time for Tea arrived the morning that I flew out to help my two ex foster kids bury their mother. With air time and some spare time on my hands, I drank every page in that little book three times over. I simply loved it and I learnt things about tea that I had always taken for granted. More splendidly, I learnt about the symbolism of tea leaf reading. This was of great interest to me because I use symbol work (expressive therapies) in my therapeutic work with families and children.

Whether it be grown on a lofty mountin ridge, by a crystal-clear stream, or in a cool green valley, each tea embodies the place where it was grown and the people who made it. Tjok Gde Kerthyasa, Tea Master, p10, Time for Tea, Lindel Barker-Revell, Sydney: Allen and Unwin, 2007.

A long time evangelist of Fair Trade products, the tea, coffee and chocolate in our home embodies ethics and child protection. No children were harmed in the making of caffeine products in our home and no child will be harmed in the serving and partaking of those products either. Boy child drinks tea and coffee on occasion: herb tea and no caffeine coffee. Taking it all one step further, Boy 12 is now involved in the mysteries of tea leaf reading (pictured) thanks to the gems of delight discovered in Time for Tea.

What a fun and therapeutic way to start conversations, explore the symbolism in a person’s life and learn what they aspire for the future….only problem is that Boy child is now driving me batty asking when step father will be home so that Boy can read step father’s tea leaves. Oh well, at least I have today leaned about the bullies at school and how Boy wants to climb mountains when he’s older. Using his own symbolism and meanings I was able to deal with the bully situation without sounding like a therapist – I was just his Mum, drinking tea and having fun with him.

I think I’ll call this Thera Tea. Cuppa anyone? I promise I won’t analyse your tea leaves too much

Time for Tea by Linda Barker-Revell is published by Allen and Unwin and can be purchased from book stores or through Linda’s web site: Tea Wise. It would make a beautiful present for the Goddess in your life or for the interested and intelligent person who enjoys looking behind the obvious to learn history and meanings of ritual. I’ll be buying copies for Christmas gifts for the women in my life that I care to share tea with.