How to install a husband and keep him running without error
March 18, 2010 by Megan · Leave a Comment
Much to my horror, yesterday was the 30th anniversary of my first engagement. When did I get so old?! It was even more horrifying to find the below, very funny, husband joke in my inbox.
INSTALLING HUSBAND!!!
A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, NO MONEY 3.0and FOOTBALL 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?
Signed,
_______ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________
Reply
Dear Madam,
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. Html and try to downloadTears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband1.0should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 andFlowers 3.5..
However, remember, overuse of the above application can causeHusband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 orBeer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0(it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Good Looks 7.7.
Good Luck
Warning for dog and small children owners
If you are an owner of a dog and you also have a child or a visiting small child please take this as a warning.
Don’t leave your dog with a small child unattended under any circumstances!!!
Only one little moment was enough for the following to happen (see the sensitive and heart stirring photo below):
Would love to give credit here but came to me on email – origin unknown.
My wedding in the rainforest
October 11, 2009 by Megan · 2 Comments
As a self care strategy in a rather stressful child protection career, often I need to reflect on the great stuff in my life. This afternoon I made this movie of my week end long, child focused, wedding in the rainforest.
Accountability partners and penalties for not reaching goals
April 23, 2009 by Megan · Leave a Comment
An interesting phenomena has occurred in the life of Megan Bayliss. Reflecting back on the weekly goals I set myself according to the Bob Davies accountability for elite performers paradigm, I discovered that I have also, unknowingly, met each of my penalties…without pain, fuss or fear!
I HATE washing dishes so in the first two weeks of undertaking accountability goaling my penalty should I not do as I undertook to do was to wash dishes. There’s no way I will ever do that, I announced publicly (on a tele conference to hundreds of people). Well blow me down! I am now regularly washing dishes for my darling husband (it’s my job to cook, his to wash).
Why has this happened? Better still, why am I even enjoying a task that I know I hate. Ahhh – there’s the answer. My mind has tricked me into thinking that I hate washing dishes: my mind was a limit – limiting beliefs tricked me. I had reframed dish washing as menial, a waste of my time, something beneath me! Leave off, Megan Bayliss…just how special do you think you are! Not more special than anyone else, just fearful of missing out on something I value while I wash the dishes.
Bob Davies talks about fear as an alien: the fear alien attaches itself to your face (think the Sigorney Weaver movies Alien here) and obscures your view of everything. Worst still, that sex starved alien thrusts it’s probe deep into your brain and mind f*cks with you. Oh God…I so did not want some raping alien peeing on my face and powering himself with my grey matter.
I have decided that the accountability penalties I set for myself were externatlisations of my fears. Things that I was so scared of that there was no way I would do them. The thought of doing them ensured that I kept my word and fulfilled my goal. But….I love a challenge and I am hardly a woman to be bossed around by a little alien: particularly a perpetrating sex and power starved alien!
“Bring my fear on,” I challenged the alien, “because I will take it, face it and deal with it.” And I did 
How cool and unfearful do I feel! I have met all of my goals and willingly undertaken the penalties, just because I could!
The sky is not the limit: YOU are!
What are your fears and how will you remove them as limiting beliefs? I daily work with the Beyond Freedom program. It is designed to reach deep within and bust open limiting beliefs and rewire with more helpful and life improving ways of thinking and being.
Find out a little more about the amazing study at home, multi media, program, Beyond Freedom.
Success and Goals in the box
March 30, 2009 by Megan · Leave a Comment
My accountability partners have to share in the celebration of my success this week: I have met all three of my short terms goals in health, personal and business. Do I feel proud…you bet!
It is interesting how many tricks and stinkin’ thinkin’ the mind played while I planned and contemplated each of my goal tasks. “You look fine the way you are,” the mind started. “LIAR,” I replied. “I am walking EVERY DAY because I deserve to be healthy and fit.” “You’re an idiot and everyone will know so when you start cold lead approaching. Only losers do that,” my mind so comforting coached me. I am guessing that my old mind must be fairly confused because it hasn’t yet caught onto how my resolve has grown since beginning my daily focus on self development and breaking limiting beliefs and habits.
I am resolved to be successful, happy and confident. Everything I need to achieve these things are right here at my fingertips. I just need to change my thoughts , my beliefs and my fear of being seen as silly. Once I change those things, I open myself up to new and different opportunities. I got poor (by my standards – not by world poverty standards) and unhappy (once again, this is subjective) by doing what I did, surely doing the same thing isn’t going to get me wealthy and happy! To be successful, happy and confident I had to do something different and seek wisdom from people other than I was currently surrounded with – people who helped me keep the status quo.
Stepping out of my comfort zone was a challenge. Contracting with other people, accountability partners, was also a challenge because I had to share my private fears with those people. Once shared though, there was no more fear. How true it is that fear is an alien or a passion vampire. Fear tricked me into believing something that wasn’t real. Why the heck would I want to continue to hang with fear??!!
With all confidence, I can attest that it is my application to the Beyond Freedom Life Improvement course (aka Therapy in a box) that has changed my thinking, my desire, my reflection and my change. Coupled with Bob Proctor’s Six Minutes to Success, my thought times with myself are imbued with deep personal growth, lasting change and an eyes wide open without blinkers phenomena that I have never experienced before, despite my almost 20 years working as a therapist.
Life is good and I am deeply happy. I am grateful to those people who have helped feed me Law of Attraction and hit me with the money stick as I needed to be confronted.
If you want to invest in your life, buy the Beyond Freedom, Life Improvement, study at home, therapy in a box course. AMAZING! At just $1,495.00US (+ postage) it is the best investment I have ever made in therapy, supervision or life coaching. Best still is that it is a life long course. After the first 90 day course cycle, you keep doing it. $1495.00 for a life time of therapy is just excellent.
Buy it here and have it delivered to your door within days.
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