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Megan Bayliss published in book on Emotional Intelligence

April 6, 2010 By Megan 5 Comments

I have a chapter published in a new book: Emotional What? Emotional Intelligence for the rest of us. The first chapter!

Two years ago I was approached by an Australian woman wanting to know if she could use one of my blog posts in an upcoming book. That book is now published and available for sale.

Ebook Description

This collection introduces many of the world’s leading experts in emotional intelligence, and provides valuable perspectives on different definitions of this important capacity and numerous starting points for development. It provides a wealth of information on the subject of emotional intelligence, with a rich variety of viewpoints to spark your thinking.

I am honoured and humbled to be published alongside the world’s leading experts (Freedman and Goleman to name but a few) on Emotional Intelligence. Thank you Jenni Wright for including me in your prestigious Ebook.

 

BUY Emotional What? Emotional Intelligence for the rest of us, here

Megan Bayliss has the first chapter in Emotional What? Emotional Intelligence for the rest of us.

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Why do people experience Deja Vu?

March 20, 2010 By Megan Leave a Comment

That feeling of knowing, the thought that you’ve been there before, you’ve seen the exact image and know the exact movement, sound, and smells around you; it’s often Deja Vu.

A fascinating subject, Deja Vu stills visits me from time to time. Some years ago I wrote an article on Deju Vu for Families.com. Here are the major findings again:

  • Deja vu is common in the 15 to 25 year old age spans. This may be because the brain sometimes misfires during its process of maturation. Two cognitive processes are slightly uncoordinated and cause split second confusion that feels real – do I know you?
  • Yet another theory to support why it occurs in the younger set suggests that as people age their range of life experiences to draw from increases, making new situations less easy to find, less stimulating when we do find them and less likely to create the whole Deja vu thing happening.
  • Global travellers over the age of 25, who are exposed to stimulating cultural experiences, report they often experience Deja vu.
  • When a memory we have consciously forgotten connects with real-time current happenings, our brain searches to make meaning of the hidden thoughts of having been there/seen that before. Deja vu may well just be that eerie feeling of searching. The consciously forgotten memories could have been gained from our early life, a book we once read, a film we saw or even from a long ago dream. Because our brains are like a huge warehouse, the dusty memories are stored way at the back of a shelf in a dark far corner. They are there though, even if we cannot access them easily. Meeting a memory provoking situation, stirs those sleepy warehouse goods up and they bang on their box in an attempt to be noticed. Their barely audible voice nags at us, until we finally admit something hauntingly familiar about the current situation.
  • Not all people experience Deja vu though. The sort of people most likely to experience Deja vu are those that:
  1. have an active imagination and recall your dreams easily,
  2. are fatigued or under stress,
  3. have higher than average education and higher income, or
  4. are open minded and liberal in their political opinions.

I’m over 25 and I am fatigued and stressed. But….if I don’t tell anyone, just keep gabbing on about my Deju Vu experiences perhaps people will think I am under 25 and intelligent :)

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Emotional Guidance Scale

March 14, 2010 By Megan Leave a Comment

Twelve months ago I posted mainly around self development. Nowadays I am posting on supervision and assuming a degree of self and professional development. However, it is most helpful to revisit strategies that have previously assisted. Here’s one of the most helpful self development reminders I have used:

Emotional Guidance

It is possible to change your emotional set point and to position yourself for quicker and positive life change. My years as a therapist support that many people do not have alternative feelings to reach toward though. Not only do some people have a constipated emotional vocabulary they also have no previous experience of positive feeling and have no idea where they fall on a scale of emotional guidance.

Are you intimate with your feelings? Where are you on the scale of emotional intelligence and guidance?

  1. Joy, knowledge, empowerment, freedom, love, appreciation
  2. Passion
  3. Enthusiasm, eagerness, happiness
  4. Positive expectation, belief
  5. Optimism
  6. Hopefulness
  7. Contentment
  8. Boredom
  9. Pessimism
  10. Frustration, irritation, impatience
  11. Overwhelment
  12. Disappointment
  13. Doubt
  14. Worry
  15. Blame
  16. Discouragement
  17. Anger
  18. Revenge
  19. Hatred, rage
  20. Jealousy
  21. Insecurity, guilt, unworthiness
  22. Fear, grief, depression, despair, powerlessness.

While these labels are merely words, it is the feelings associated with the words on the higher end of the scale that have the ability to change our lives for the better. When you consciously reach for a higher feeling, your immediate state of feeling is improved.

Having a sample of happy memories to recall helps to move the focus away when you become aware of a lower scale feeling. If you are feeling angry for example, consciously think of a time when….[insert own positive thought...]

Are you happy to stay as a bottom scale feeder or are you rising to the top of the world?

Want to learn more about feelings? Here’s two FREE resources for you:

A poster of Feeling Faces

List of feeling words

Emotional Guidance Scale from: E & J Hicks, 2008. Manifest your desires. Hay House:Sydney
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How to make yourself feel better at any given moment

November 15, 2009 By Megan Leave a Comment

Feeling FacesWant to know how to change from feeling CRAP to feeling great? With practice it’s easy.

  1. Get emotionally intelligent. Get to know the feelings words that describe how you feel. If you always say you feel crap what does that really mean. Does it mean you feel like a big brown soppy dog turd on the footpath or does it mean you are feeling really down, like crying, lacking motivation and thinking bad thoughts all the time? Here’s some more reading about getting emotionally intelligent. If you’re really serious about change, then try this short article too: Emotional Intelligence 101.
  2. Practice, practice, practice, using clear communication to firstly identify your feeling,  secondly give your feeling a proper feeling name (crap isn’t a proper feeling, actually, it’s a piece of excrement….yuk….I don’t want to feel like crap!)  and thirdly verbalise exactly how you are feeling. There are degrees of feeling and it is the emotionally intelligent person who understands those degrees. Even crap comes with degrees: runny crap, hard crap, wormy crap, smelly crap – if you are smart then you’ll describe exactly what sort of crap you feel like! Here’s some more reading about using clear communication to express how you really feel.
  3. Possibly the most important step in moving from crap to helpful manure that encourages growth and big fat blooms is to

    purposely move yourself up the emotional scale whenever you recognise that you are feeling more lowly than you need to.

    Yes, it is possible to change your emotional set point and to make yourself feel better in any moment.  Here’s the scale of emotional guidance (you’re aiming for being in number one spot):

  1. Joy, knowledge, empowerment, freedom, love, appreciation
  2. Passion
  3. Enthusiasm, eagerness, happiness
  4. Positive expectation, belief
  5. Optimism
  6. Hopefulness
  7. Contentment
  8. Boredom
  9. Pessimism
  10. Frustration, irritation, impatience
  11. Overwhelment
  12. Disappointment
  13. Doubt
  14. Worry
  15. Blame
  16. Discouragement
  17. Anger
  18. Revenge
  19. Hatred, rage
  20. Jealousy
  21. Insecurity, guilt, unworthiness
  22. Fear, grief, depression, despair, powerlessness.

While these labels are merely words, it is the feelings associated with the words on the higher end of the scale that have the ability to change our lives for the better. When you consciously reach for a higher feeling, your immediate state of feeling is improved.

Having a sample of happy memories to recall helps to move the focus away when you become aware of a lower scale feeling. If you are feeling angry for example, consciously think of a time when….[insert own positive thought...]

Are you happy to stay at the bottom of the emotional intelligence class? I didn’t think so. Here’s what you’ve got to do:

Step 1: Get emotionally intelligent

Step 2: Use clear communication – I feel….when you…..because…..

Step 3: Move yourself up the emotional scale whenever you recognise that you are feeling more lowly than you need to.

Want to learn more about feelings? Here’s two FREE resources for you:

A poster of Feeling Faces

List of feeling words

Emotional Guidance Scale from: E & J Hicks, 2008. Manifest your desires. Hay House:Sydney
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Sample educational philosophy with emotional intelligence as the basis

July 30, 2009 By Megan Leave a Comment

If you had to articulate your educational philosophy for supporting traumatised children in out of home care, what would you say? I am currently working on a number of educational plans and am using the following core philosophy (designed by myself) as the base for individualising timetables and educational goals.

Educational Philosophy

  • Education is a life long process.
  • Education is holistic with areas of emotional, environmental and self-care being as important as classical learning.
  • Just as there are different types of intelligence, there are different types of education. Our goal as home educators is to offer balance across areas of intelligence and educational frameworks.
  • Teachable moments present themselves throughout the day and when capitalized upon offer enjoyable and non focused educational learning.
  • Home education is learning a variety of skills in many settings and in many ways.
  • Education is multi faceted and accessible from a variety of support people with an array of different educational backgrounds, areas of expertise and different views on life.
  • Natural learning occurs when a student is relaxed, happy and in an environment of safety.
  • We are co-learners rather than teachers. We facilitate a learning process and encourage empowerment by enabling the student to accept that we do not know everything, that our way is not the only way and that there is learning available to all of us by accessing community, individuals and institutions.
  • We recognize that by making the student the instructor at times, a wealth of knowledge will be gained for the student and a measurable increase in the students self esteem will become visible.
  • Any situation is a possible teachable moment. To seize the teachable moment and deliver it in a way that will capture the interest of the student, is a role that we take on as co-learners.
  • A progression from knowledge reception to higher learning evaluation occurs when: educational material is presented in a palatable way designed to a student’s specific learning needs; when the learning environment is charged with a air of enquiry across all learning partners; and when the traditional focus moves from fact retainment to fact appreciation

With emotional intelligence as the core curricula background and teachable moments as the vein of an unschooling approach, you will need supporting resources and material. I am using my own material from Parent Sense (see the Intiuition section) to move into emotional intelligence through talk, play and outings.

Here are some other articles that may help you understand your own educational philosophy and deliver it in a palatable way to your traumatised young person:

Making the most of Teachable Moments

Home Schooling Aspergers

Use a story to solve a problem – Bibliotherapy

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