Emotional Guidance Scale
March 14, 2010 by Megan · Leave a Comment
Twelve months ago I posted mainly around self development. Nowadays I am posting on supervision and assuming a degree of self and professional development. However, it is most helpful to revisit strategies that have previously assisted. Here’s one of the most helpful self development reminders I have used:
Emotional Guidance
It is possible to change your emotional set point and to position yourself for quicker and positive life change. My years as a therapist support that many people do not have alternative feelings to reach toward though. Not only do some people have a constipated emotional vocabulary they also have no previous experience of positive feeling and have no idea where they fall on a scale of emotional guidance.
Are you intimate with your feelings? Where are you on the scale of emotional intelligence and guidance?
- Joy, knowledge, empowerment, freedom, love, appreciation
- Passion
- Enthusiasm, eagerness, happiness
- Positive expectation, belief
- Optimism
- Hopefulness
- Contentment
- Boredom
- Pessimism
- Frustration, irritation, impatience
- Overwhelment
- Disappointment
- Doubt
- Worry
- Blame
- Discouragement
- Anger
- Revenge
- Hatred, rage
- Jealousy
- Insecurity, guilt, unworthiness
- Fear, grief, depression, despair, powerlessness.
While these labels are merely words, it is the feelings associated with the words on the higher end of the scale that have the ability to change our lives for the better. When you consciously reach for a higher feeling, your immediate state of feeling is improved.
Having a sample of happy memories to recall helps to move the focus away when you become aware of a lower scale feeling. If you are feeling angry for example, consciously think of a time when….[insert own positive thought...]
Are you happy to stay as a bottom scale feeder or are you rising to the top of the world?
Want to learn more about feelings? Here’s two FREE resources for you:
Emotional Guidance Scale from: E & J Hicks, 2008. Manifest your desires. Hay House:Sydney
How to make yourself feel better at any given moment
November 15, 2009 by Megan · Leave a Comment
Want to know how to change from feeling CRAP to feeling great? With practice it’s easy.
- Get emotionally intelligent. Get to know the feelings words that describe how you feel. If you always say you feel crap what does that really mean. Does it mean you feel like a big brown soppy dog turd on the footpath or does it mean you are feeling really down, like crying, lacking motivation and thinking bad thoughts all the time? Here’s some more reading about getting emotionally intelligent. If you’re really serious about change, then try this short article too: Emotional Intelligence 101.
- Practice, practice, practice, using clear communication to firstly identify your feeling, secondly give your feeling a proper feeling name (crap isn’t a proper feeling, actually, it’s a piece of excrement….yuk….I don’t want to feel like crap!) and thirdly verbalise exactly how you are feeling. There are degrees of feeling and it is the emotionally intelligent person who understands those degrees. Even crap comes with degrees: runny crap, hard crap, wormy crap, smelly crap – if you are smart then you’ll describe exactly what sort of crap you feel like! Here’s some more reading about using clear communication to express how you really feel.
- Possibly the most important step in moving from crap to helpful manure that encourages growth and big fat blooms is to
purposely move yourself up the emotional scale whenever you recognise that you are feeling more lowly than you need to.
Yes, it is possible to change your emotional set point and to make yourself feel better in any moment. Here’s the scale of emotional guidance (you’re aiming for being in number one spot):
- Joy, knowledge, empowerment, freedom, love, appreciation
- Passion
- Enthusiasm, eagerness, happiness
- Positive expectation, belief
- Optimism
- Hopefulness
- Contentment
- Boredom
- Pessimism
- Frustration, irritation, impatience
- Overwhelment
- Disappointment
- Doubt
- Worry
- Blame
- Discouragement
- Anger
- Revenge
- Hatred, rage
- Jealousy
- Insecurity, guilt, unworthiness
- Fear, grief, depression, despair, powerlessness.
While these labels are merely words, it is the feelings associated with the words on the higher end of the scale that have the ability to change our lives for the better. When you consciously reach for a higher feeling, your immediate state of feeling is improved.
Having a sample of happy memories to recall helps to move the focus away when you become aware of a lower scale feeling. If you are feeling angry for example, consciously think of a time when….[insert own positive thought...]
Are you happy to stay at the bottom of the emotional intelligence class? I didn’t think so. Here’s what you’ve got to do:
Step 1: Get emotionally intelligent
Step 2: Use clear communication – I feel….when you…..because…..
Step 3: Move yourself up the emotional scale whenever you recognise that you are feeling more lowly than you need to.
Want to learn more about feelings? Here’s two FREE resources for you:
Emotional Guidance Scale from: E & J Hicks, 2008. Manifest your desires. Hay House:Sydney
Sample educational philosophy with emotional intelligence as the basis
July 30, 2009 by Megan · Leave a Comment
If you had to articulate your educational philosophy for supporting traumatised children in out of home care, what would you say? I am currently working on a number of educational plans and am using the following core philosophy (designed by myself) as the base for individualising timetables and educational goals.
Educational Philosophy
- Education is a life long process.
- Education is holistic with areas of emotional, environmental and self-care being as important as classical learning.
- Just as there are different types of intelligence, there are different types of education. Our goal as home educators is to offer balance across areas of intelligence and educational frameworks.
- Teachable moments present themselves throughout the day and when capitalized upon offer enjoyable and non focused educational learning.
- Home education is learning a variety of skills in many settings and in many ways.
- Education is multi faceted and accessible from a variety of support people with an array of different educational backgrounds, areas of expertise and different views on life.
- Natural learning occurs when a student is relaxed, happy and in an environment of safety.
- We are co-learners rather than teachers. We facilitate a learning process and encourage empowerment by enabling the student to accept that we do not know everything, that our way is not the only way and that there is learning available to all of us by accessing community, individuals and institutions.
- We recognize that by making the student the instructor at times, a wealth of knowledge will be gained for the student and a measurable increase in the students self esteem will become visible.
- Any situation is a possible teachable moment. To seize the teachable moment and deliver it in a way that will capture the interest of the student, is a role that we take on as co-learners.
- A progression from knowledge reception to higher learning evaluation occurs when: educational material is presented in a palatable way designed to a student’s specific learning needs; when the learning environment is charged with a air of enquiry across all learning partners; and when the traditional focus moves from fact retainment to fact appreciation
With emotional intelligence as the core curricula background and teachable moments as the vein of an unschooling approach, you will need supporting resources and material. I am using my own material from Parent Sense (see the Intiuition section) to move into emotional intelligence through talk, play and outings.
Here are some other articles that may help you understand your own educational philosophy and deliver it in a palatable way to your traumatised young person:
Making the most of Teachable Moments
Use a story to solve a problem – Bibliotherapy
Learn how to read tea leaves, Cairns
Tea Leaf reading: fun for all the family
We are now taking bookings for the next Learn how to read Tea Leaves over a High Tea at the Sebel, Cairns.
Held every second Sunday from 2 to 4pm, this workshop caters to 12 only. Suitable for men, women and teens, tea leaf reading is good fun.
Impress your friends, family and potential lovers by reading their tea leaves.
Based on symbolism, meaning and intuition, the tea leaf reading high tea is pure delight.
Cost: $55.00 (includes High Tea, ebook and tea leaf reading [in]tuition)
When: BY REQUEST ONLY until 2010.
Where: Coco’s restaurant (in the front foyer afternoon tea area), The Sebel, 17 Abbott St, Cairns.
Dress code: Women, dress up and be beautiful in beautiful surrounds. Men: Good casual or dress up to match the women.
Book and pay: Megan Bayliss 4031 0489. We accept credit card, direct deposit and paypal. Once you have paid you will be sent an ebooklet, to print out and bring with you, to help you identify and interpret the shapes in the cup.
Coffee Reading bonus offer: These High Tea Leaf Reading tuitions will occur every Sunday with graduate only offers of take away coffee readings once a month (on a Sunday morning at 10am). While tea leaf reading relies on the shape and positioning of leaves in relation to the handle, coffee Lattes and take away coffee cups without handles and lots of milk froth offer a different geography and reading experience.
Aid your emotional intelligence – drink and read tea.
Self development, self assessment and fortune telling
Self development is the hottest new trend across the world. A Sixteen BILLION dollar industry, people love self therapy and learning how to make themselves the most successful person they can be. Congratulations to every single person who has ever bought a self help book, studied some pop (as in “popular”) psychology, done a self development course or even thought about improving themselves.
Self development takes many forms: management courses, going to the gym, life coaching, giving up smoking, parenting courses, etc, etc. While there is a myriad of things to learn, all the self development in the world will amount to nothing until the learner decides to take action and act. Reading a book on a new hobby does not make me proficient at that hobby – doing the actions of the hobby in a consistent and structured way is what makes me good at my hobby.
So it is for self development: consistent and structured application of a new self focused skill is what brings the change and helps create a new and better person. It takes 90 days of considered practice for a new skill, idea or belief to become ingrained into who you are. The Beyond Freedom Life Improvement course that I resell is a 90 day course – a course designed to remove limiting beliefs and instead create a personality of huge thinking and elite performance. Ninety days, three months, a quarter of a year – not a long time to completely change who you are and the annoying or limiting things you do.
With change comes self assessment. People who change because another person has requested it of them, change at a superficial level. When the requester has gone, the change reverts to old behaviour. However, the person who first engages in self assessment, carefully looks at the symbols around them that keep them trapped in a non productive mind set and consciously identifies the parts of themselves that they do like like (the parts they really want to change) is the person who will enact long term and permanent change once they dance with consistent and structured application of their new self focused skill.
I am a therapist and have put years of learning and practice into my assessment and therapy skills. Nowadays, rather than practicing therapy one on one, I encourage and nudge everyone toward do it yourself therapy: self development. The book stores and the internet are full of material on how to change and how to self assess.
Tea cup reading is one conduit of self development that I love. I make no claims of being psychic or even foretelling someone’s future. All that I do is encourage everyone to become the creator of their own future: to self assess by looking at the symbols around themselves and to change that which they may not like.
We live our life according to signs and symbols: traffic signs, weather signs, market trends, behavioural cues from our family. We assess according to the accepted trappings of wealth: job, car, clothes, suburb, house. We pride ourselves on being thinkers and seeing meanings deep beyond that which our eye sees (assessment). All of this is the ritual of dancing with symbols. The dance tells us a lot about ourselves, who we are and how we think.
A tea cup with loose tea leaves stuck to its side and bottom is full of symbols: an externatlisation of our physical world. By recognising the symbolism and talking through what it means for our past, the present and the future, the magic of self development occurs. Any knowledge, understanding of yourself and action that assists you to change what you do is self development.
Made a decision to embrace self development into your life. Make yourself a cup of tea (if you use tea bags, tear the bag and let those leaves dance directly in your cup). Drink, think and ink (write down which part of you is ready for change – as an example, for me it is swearing – I want to stop my foul mouth). Leave just a teaspoon of liquid in your cup. Swirl it around and upend your cup onto a saucer so that the liquid drains. Turn the cup upward and attempt to identify shapes, patterns or pictures in your tea leaves that have been left behind in your cup.
Use this very simple process of self assessment to help you decipher your answer to changing that of yourself that you don’t like (the swearing in my case):
- Describe what you know about what you see
- Describe what you feel about this
- How does this fit into your life today
For those in or visiting Cairns, I teach Tea Cup reading from a symbolic perspective. With a focus on self development rather than fortune telling (everybody can change their future if you engage in consistent and structured application of a new self focused skill), you can join us at the Sebel, Cairns, every second Sunday afternoon. Held over a scrumptious high tea, loose leaf tea and loose fitting clothing go hand in hand 
. Contact Megan Bayliss at Imaginif for further information, to book in and to pay ($55.00).
Other Tea cup and fortune telling articles by Megan Bayliss:
Learn how to read tea leaves, Cairns
Pic, Grassy dreams, by ioneg at stock exchange.
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Do you know what bibliotherapy is? Click Megan's book, that's it below, to learn how to use a story to solve a problem.
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