What to do if your child tells you they have been sexually abused

Working with children who have been sexually assaulted is the most satisfying job I have ever done. Working with parents and foster carers of those children is an honour: a privilege. I have recently sat with some amazing foster carers and we discussed sexualiased behaviours and how to react if disclosures ever came the foster carers way. In respect and thanks to those amazing foster carers, I have re trenched a post written more than a year ago:

What Can I Do if My Child Tells Me Someone Has Done Bad “Sex” Things to Them?

Imaginif…you knew what to do if your child disclosed sexual abuse.

Child sexual assault is against the law. Don’t keep it to yourself. First, believe your child and then TELL someone in a position to help you. Telling about child sexual abuse helps to end the prevalence figure of one in three. Child sexual abuse WILL CONTINUE if we don’t all take responsibility and tell someone when it has occurred. Tell the school principal, your local doctor, the police, a friend, the local Welfare agency. TELL SOMEONE who will help you.

It is not your responsibility to investigate and prove any disclosures of sexual abuse. Leave this to the Police or to the welfare agency in your state tasked with the responsibility of investigation. It is your responsibility to protect, believe and support your child.

Never approach the alleged perpetrator of the child sexual abuse. Focus on your child. Protect them. Minimize contact between them and the alleged abuser.

Talk, talk, talk to your child. Bust the secret right open. Apologise to your child for not having known that it happened and regain your child’s trust and confidence. Reassure your child that you will do something to stop it from ever happening again.

Allow your child to sleep in your bedroom if they feel scared or insecure. Your child needs to know that you are indeed a safe person and that you can, and will protect them.

After the police or the local welfare agency has interviewed your child, take your child to a child sexual abuse therapist. Talking about the sexual abuse helps to clear the child’s mind and allows them another avenue of being heard and believed.

Surround your family with supportive people. People who doubt or blame you are not helpful to your child’s recovery. This is a great time to increase your family’s support network and to train all of your children in protective behaviours.

Imaginif…we wiped out sexual abuse by telling someone when it happens. Sexual predators demand secrecy. Take away the secrecy and we make the predators think twice about sexually abusing another child.

Recommended subscription to a FREE newsletter on child safety: Kidproof.

Related blog from families.com: The Grooming Process of a Child Sexual Predator.

For further help on protecting your child against sexual assault, please use the games and activities in Parent Sense: a FREE tutorial, written by Megan Bayliss, on keeping kids safe from sexual predators.