Sniff of Sense and Sensibility in child protection
February 23, 2008 by Megan Bayliss · 4 Comments
I love the classics – Jane Eyre (oh, the trauma), Jane Austen (oh, the distress, shock and pain of love) and plain Jane gets ignored because she’s weird at school. What classic behaviour we frequently perpetrate on children who may well be suffering the physical and psychological effects of trauma. Where’s our child protection sense!
Did Jane Austen know that when she wrote Sense and sensibility that she was producing child protection fodder? Possibly not. While Jane’s story of sisters has become a much loved classic, the sense and sensibility of recognising traumatised Jane has almost disappeared because we fail to know how to reach a traumatised child. While the classic Jane’s had their fair share of trauma, the young Jane’s and Darcey’s of today are often exposed to trauma of a global and community magnitude. Continuously triggered by hearing and seeing images of trauma, traumatised kids easily dissociate, zone out and act weird at school. We sense their distress, but we do little to help them. In fact, we often tease them.
Where is our fifth sense, common sense? Right under our nose! Like snuff or smelling salts. Use the five senses to help a traumatised child to stay grounded and present in the here and now.
Traumatised children may have developed dissociation and attachment disorders as a result of their trauma. Many parents/carers complain of their child appearing to be in a continuous day dream. The child may well be, because being in the present reminds them of terrible things that have happened. Thinking of terrible things raises strong feelings. Unable to cope with the strong feelings, the child may flip off to a safe world they have created in their mind. To get a good background on how trauma affects children and how these kids can be present physically but not emotionally and cognitively, please read:
The five senses provide you five different ways to help gently return your child to the here and now (this also works for adults who may be dissociative). The emphasis here is on gentle. Your traumatised child needs to be surrounded with support, understanding and positive reinforcements. Name calling, put downs or manipulations of the five senses to create further bad and offensive memories is another form of abuse. Do not do it – not even for a joke.
Seeing: Hold a favorite object in front of the eyes of your child. Talk to the child and gently shake the object. The sight of something they like may help to bring them back to the present.
Hearing: Gently call their name in an even and safe tone. If that does not work, put on a favorite piece of music and turn it up a notch more than quiet.
Taste: DO NOT DO THIS WITH CHILDREN WHO HAVE BEEN SEXUALLY ASSAULTED. While gently talking to the child tell the child you are going to put a slice of apple/teaspoon of caramel/potato crisp (use whatever the child likes) into their mouth. The yummy taste may just help them to be fully present again.
Touch: DO NOT DO THIS WITH CHILDREN WHO HAVE BEEN SEXUALLY ASSAULTED. A gentle and supportive touch on the cheek, the arm, the back may reassure your child that you are present, you will protect and you will help. Similarly, the touch of an object the child likes may be effective. Place the object into the child’s hand.
Smell: The smell of fresh bread cooking or the blended aromas that waft from a restaurant strip frequently case comment. “Yum. Smell that. Let’s eat there.” Smell is a strong hook and can work well to bring a person back to what is happening around them right now. Smell is also a strong trigger. Many survivors of child abuse have said that smell is the first trigger in their haste to retreat (dissociate). They smell something that reminds them of their trauma, and woof, they’ve dissociated. Find a smell that is pleasing and comforting to your child. What do they make positive comment on – the smell of Vegemite, your perfume, Dad’s socks, freshly cut grass. If you have their pleasing smell on hand, gently wave it under their nose: give your child a different safe something and somewhere to escape to. You.
The senses are powerful. Increasing a child’s repertoire of events surrounded with good sensual memory simulations is an important part of healthy child development and child protection. Think back to your own childhood – what is your strongest pleasant memory? What senses are involved in your memory recall? What feelings are associated with the recall.?
About Megan Bayliss
This is such good advice. As a teacher, I try to get kids present in the room before starting work. I know little learning will occur for kids who are elsewhere mentally or emotionally. Students can be still stuck in something that happened before they came to school, or some upset that occured at play. I usually use the seeing and hearing senses to get their attention. Marking the attendance by reading students names can alert you to who’s not ‘present’.
Hope all is well in your world Megan.
lol…Megan has been determined to get me to read the classics – how she has stooped and manipulated to ensure I can now correctly guess her questions and answers about Jane Eyre. Nice correlation between childhood trauma though Megan.
Super piece, Megan. Reminds me of a story (doesn’t everything/) when I was in teacher training a gazillion years ago. My Supervisor happened to be there when a 5 year old, diagnosed with extreme Emtional Disturbance (label used then) went into one of her rages. (If any child had understandable acting out behaviors, this one did…but that’s another story)
The other children were removed from the room for their safety and the child was allowed to aact out so long as she wasn’t injuring herself. Anyway as one of her missiles whacked into my Supervisor, Gwendolyn caught it on the rebound…one of the child’s shoes.
Showing no reaction, and seemingly oblivious of the child at all, speaking in a soft voice, she began talking as though to herself, about how her own proper British Mum would have been so upset over the scuffed toes on the shoe. Slowly and methodically, never stopping the chatter, she gathered paper towels, basin of water, soap, rags, shoe polish, brush etc. and began, still chatting, with every move slowly deliberate, and never a glance in the direction of the child, she cleaned and polished that shoe. Meanwhile the child had continued raging, throwing, trashing anythng but slowing down with her eyes constantly on Gwendolyn. Eventually the child was standing still and calm next to Gwendolyn, who looked at her in surprise, as though only just then aware of her presence! Is this your shoe she asked? A nod in answer. Doesn’t look like your other one. Are you sure it’s your shoe? Another nod. Well maybe you want to make your other one look like this one? And so by lunchtime the child walked proudly to join her class and show off her shiny shoes. Of course, before long, another episode…there were several every day….but what a difference Gwendolyn’s use of senses instead of resorting to force and restraint made in the outcome. Not to mention the beginning of a trust relationship that continued between them for years.
Joh, glad I can help. If I was a student I would want to be in one of your class rooms. I’ve read some of your blogs and wished my kids had had you as their literature teacher. Life is good, albeit very busy now that we have expanded our practice – I’m not getting to every body’s blog daily. But….my plan is to have the girls take over so that I can concentrate on our web presence.
PJ – ha ha…shall I finally get to watch Pride and Prejudice with you then (it was on TV the other night). Wait till we start on the Nursery Rhymes and the historic events that led to the gruesome little children’s sayings – Do you know what started A tishu, a tishu, we all fall down???
Nancy, what a FANTASTIC story. You really should be getting these anecdotes all collated for publication. Can I use this one in my trainings please? I’ve got a Positive and Protective Training coming up for foster carers and this would fit nicely.