I noticed last night, at the Baptism after party, that I was using the word hate a lot. Much later, and in the solitude of my bed, I reflected on my “hate” speech and why I might be doing it: I was uncomfortable. I was surrounded by people whereas I prefer small groups. The language difference always results in me over listening and I give myself a headache and I was scared that the alcohol may fuel fights.
Strange how being out of my comfort zone produced negative connotations and speech patterns for me. That has to immediately change because negativity breeds more negativity and destroys creativity, personal growth, alignment and manifestation of goals/dreams.
I was reminded of an article that Brenda at Leading Edge Personal Development wrote: Love the thing you hate. Dr John Demartini, a seminal write on personal development and author of The Gratitude Effect, suggests that to be able to move beyond hate you must first be able to love it. Love has to have a starting point so, he suggests starting with a pen and paper and writing a list of why you might love (as opposed to hate) a certain thing. Brenda maintains that she has done this and that it works – she simply writes an alternative list of why she loves the things she hates…and then moves on with her day free from hate residual.
An interesting technique, I decided to try it in relation to using the word hate. A comical list on why I love the word hate developed and now I am not sure that I will ever say that word in conversation again without laughing my head off!! Even if I do slip up and say that I hate something, writing the list put me into such a great mood that I flew straight to the top of the emotional guidance scale, so therefore, I almost welcome another opportunity to write a list 
.
From now on, I endeavour to replace the word hate with gratitude…even if it is to say that I am grateful that I am going to get another fun opportunity to write a list of why I hate something. A win-win situation for change and emotional alignment, who could not find this technique fun, enlightening and hate changing?
Since my children can talk I have not accepted the use of the word hate from them. I find that hate is such an offensive word and it is generally rarely used in it true context. The children need to think about how they are really feeling to describe it o me, rather that just using a catch all phrase of hate.
I find ‘love’ and ‘hate’ are so often misused when we really mean ‘like’ and ‘dislike’. But you’re right to be cautious about the negativity behind it. I enjoy hearing about your self reflection and insights!
Hey PQ. Lovely to have you over here. You are right – hate is not an emotionally intelligent word. That was my first trigger…”what is going on that I am using such a dreadful word.” However, despite much cognitive rearranging, I can still use the word hate and Tripe in the one sentence! Errrrkkkk….I just cannot abide the thought of eating Tripe. We banned the words stupid and idiot…they were very bad swear words. I once slipped up and said that something was f**king stupid. Youngest child (then 3) heard me and said. “Um ah…stupid is a swear word!” lol, that story has travelled far in the family and really demonstrates the potency of the meaning we ascribe to words.
Hi Ian…yes, people who do not have a good grasp of vocabulary and emotional intelligence use the word hate in a sloppy and inappropriate way. Actually, on Saturday evening, I think my whole attitude was sloppy and inappropriate…I just couldn’t relax and move myself up the emotional guidance scale. Just lucky that the baby is so adorable and provided me something wonderful to focus on rather than entertaining my black thoughts…I am most grateful for that.
Glad the list caused you humour, it works however it comes to you.