How to make yourself feel better at any given moment

Want to know how to change from feeling CRAP to feeling great? With practice it’s easy.

1. Get emotionally intelligent. Get to know the feelings words that describe how you feel. If you always say you feel crap what does that really mean. Does it mean you feel like a big brown soppy dog turd on the footpath or does it mean you are feeling really down, like crying, lacking motivation and thinking bad thoughts all the time? Here’s some more reading about getting emotionally intelligent. If you’re really serious about change, then try this short article too: Emotional Intelligence 101.
   
2. Practice, practice, practice, using clear communication to firstly identify your feeling,  secondly give your feeling a proper feeling name (crap isn’t a proper feeling, actually, it’s a piece of excrement….yuk….I don’t want to feel like crap!)  and thirdly verbalise exactly how you are feeling. There are degrees of feeling and it is the emotionally intelligent person who understands those degrees. Even crap comes with degrees: runny crap, hard crap, wormy crap, smelly crap – if you are smart then you’ll describe exactly what sort of crap you feel like! Here’s some more reading about using clear communication to express how you really feel.
3. Possibly the most important step in moving from crap to helpful manure that encourages growth and big fat blooms is to
   

   purposely move yourself up the emotional scale whenever you recognise that you are feeling more lowly than you need to.

   Yes, it is possible to change your emotional set point and to make yourself feel better in any moment.  Here’s the scale of emotional guidance (you’re aiming for being in number one spot):

1. Joy, knowledge, empowerment, freedom, love, appreciation
2. Passion
3. Enthusiasm, eagerness, happiness
4. Positive expectation, belief
5. Optimism
6. Hopefulness
7. Contentment
8. Boredom
9. Pessimism
10. Frustration, irritation, impatience
11. Overwhelment
12. Disappointment
13. Doubt
14. Worry
15. Blame
16. Discouragement
17. Anger
18. Revenge
19. Hatred, rage
20. Jealousy
21. Insecurity, guilt, unworthiness
22. Fear, grief, depression, despair, powerlessness.

While these labels are merely words, it is the feelings associated with the words on the higher end of the scale that have the ability to change our lives for the better. When you consciously reach for a higher feeling, your immediate state of feeling is improved.

Having a sample of happy memories to recall helps to move the focus away when you become aware of a lower scale feeling. If you are feeling angry for example, consciously think of a time when….[insert own positive thought...]

Are you happy to stay at the bottom of the emotional intelligence class? I didn’t think so. Here’s what you’ve got to do:

Step 1: Get emotionally intelligent

Step 2: Use clear communication – I feel….when you…..because…..

Step 3: Move yourself up the emotional scale whenever you recognise that you are feeling more lowly than you need to.

Want to learn more about feelings? Here’s two FREE resources for you:

A poster of Feeling Faces

List of feeling words

Emotional Guidance Scale from: E & J Hicks, 2008. Manifest your desires. Hay House:Sydney