How to change in two easy steps

Sick of the way you act, react, live your life? Want to change something in yourself but not sure where to start? Cannot afford a therapist because what would they know anyway? I’ve heard all the excuses for not changing. So don’t change, stay the same and stop the whinging…now that would be a change!

Change is only hard because we are sucked into doing the same thing, the same way all the time. If you can change your clothes, your furniture arrangements, your patio garden or even the speed of your driving in different zones, then you can change yourself.

Try these two therapeutic exercises as a way of preparing and being comfortable with impending behavioural and psychological change:

1. Do something different. Nothing big mind you, because you will set yourself up for failure. Change the way you brush your hair (upside down perhaps), change the hand you brush your teeth with, sleep on the opposite side of the bed…do anything regular in an irregular way for your daily habits. If you can continue the change for a week, just seven days, then you are ready and committed to changing your behaviours and mindset. One change brings about other change. Watch yourself, go easy, because if you can do this for a week, you are already on fire and big things are about to happen to you.
2. Imagine someone that you greatly admire standing in front of you. What is it that you admire about them: Their strength, personal power, assurance, ability to clearly articulate? Visualise yourself stepping into them. What’s it like to be them. Become mindful of how your body stance would change if you were them. Step out.  Step back in again and feel their strength, personal power, assurance, confidence in clearly articulating their position. Do you like it? Take a little of them with you then when you step out. They won’t mind because they don’t own the patent on emotions, thoughts or behaviours; emotions, thoughts and behaviours are there to share in beneficial ways. Continue to do this exercise for as long as you need to. As you progress in your feelings of worth and you see yourself change, you may want to change the person you visualise so that you develop different behavioural and psychological traits.

It takes approximately 1000 determined attempts for an old behaviour to be gone: smoking for example (I’m an ex smoker – go me!). Likewise, it takes approximately 1000 attempts for a new replacement behaviour to become habitual. You know the old addage that practice makes perfect….it’s actually true of behavioural, emotional and psychological change too. Practice the above two steps toward change and you are already taking your 1000 steps toward a different you.

Here’s an extra tip to help you change yourself: If you choose to get rid of a particular thought pattern (or feeling, like, resentment or bitterness) that is playing in your head like a scratched CD, replace it with a different, more positive, thought (or feeling, like joy or peace). Once again, you must be persistent and force yourself to REMEMBER that you have chosen to change. For example, I want to stop thinking that I will never get rid of my debt level; every time I find myself stuck in that bad thought rut, I think of something positive, something that brings me joy…I will change my mind channel and think of how FANTASTIC and STRONG I felt when my previous marriage’s joint debts were paid out.

Winners change…losers stay the same. Choice is yours and you are the only one who can make the change happen.  It is not the responsibility of anyone but you.

This article is written for someone special who wants to change. I know they would love comments about how you have made change happen in your life. What worked for you? How did you change yourself?