Introducing talk about personal safety, protective behaviours and, oh ah….vagina and penises, can be difficult for many parents. Sex predators love kids who are emotionally and communication disconnected from safe people. They especially love kids who can’t talk straight and say something how it is (because the perpetrators can then twist disclosures to make it look the child was lying or that the child’s words meant something else). I’m sick of perpetrators getting to our kids. It is time to stone them! It is time to stone talk to kids about protective behaviours.

Talk with the help of a stone

Find a stone, rock or something natural and common in your area. It must be big enough to not be swallowed by a child and small enough to be tucked safely away in a precious box, drawer or dressing table. Give the stone to your child and tell them that the stone is special but that it is also private (like a vagina or penis). Not a secret (secrets are bad, surprises are good) but something private that nobody else may ever touch or look at without your child’s permission. The stone is to be kept in a special place, beyond the eyes of everyone else and only pulled out at times of cleaning, or checking. The stone is so sacred that if ever anybody touches it, your child must immediately tell a safe adult: you.

Stone age child protection metaphors

The stone is a metaphor for a private part – a penis, vagina, anus or breast. During your stone talk or stone play you may like to casually share the following information: Just like the stone, we also keep our private parts covered up and hidden from public view. Just like the stone they can at times be shown or touched. Sometimes the doctor or nurse may have to touch to make sure that all is well. But doctors and nurses or even people bathing the child, only ever touch there quickly and for a cleansing reason. If ever anybody spends too much time looking at or touching the private parts then it is a sign that not all is right and the child should tell a safe adult immediately.

There’s more ideas for protective play in Parent Sense, a 12 page protective behaviour tutorial free for you to download and use.

Many thanks to my 23 year old son for this idea. He rang me one night, shared his idea of helping parents to talk about personal safety with their kids and I have used the idea ever since. Thanks Rhys.

You may also be interested in these protective play ideas:

5 gifts to encourage child safety
 Head and shoulders, knees and vagina
Are Children’s books providing them with enough advice? 
The secret business of child sexual abuse caught by surprise