Divorced parents and Parental Alienation Syndrome
June 5, 2008
Many parents separate thinking it may be best for the children. Sometimes it is; sometimes it is not. When warring parents denigrate the other parent and attempt to turn children against that parent, it is child abuse and it is called Parental Alienation Syndrome.
Lisa from Sunshine Girl On a Rainy Day wrote an excellent article for Imaginif:
Parental Alienation Syndrome
Typifying three different parent alienators; naive, active and obsessed, the article makes for some heart searching reflection and honesty in separated and divorced parents. Are you that abusive parent in Lisa’s article? I have tried my hardest not to be but I know that at times I have been the naive alternator…until I realised that I was reacting to my pain. It’s not always about me though and where children’s welfare is concerned it is always about the children.
Parental alienation is child abuse. It is a child’s right to have contact and the best possible (non abusive) relationship with both parents. It is also a child’s right to live a life free from harm. Please do not become a child abuser just because your partner left you. That is such a childish and abusive thing to do.
Parental Alienation Syndrome remains controversial in Australia. I am keen to hear from parents who have had family court experiences surrounding Parental Alienation Syndrome. What was your experience? How was the alienation dealt with in the court system?
Comments
4 Responses to “Divorced parents and Parental Alienation Syndrome”
Got something to say about the above post or child safety in general?
Copyright © 2007 
Although it has not been my experience, as a member of several boards over the years there has been a variety of incidents and actions in regard to PAS that should be also addressed.
It is not just a custodial parent who can use (abuse) such techniques.
As a “syndrome” it has now been discredited in the US, as it has been used by some adults to unfairly take children away from custodial parents in legal retributions.
Yes, there is definite abuse of children in some custodial situations - I am in no way denying it. The main thing that should be focussed on in any situation is that the adults should GROW UP and not visit their own carp on the children, and seek help if they cannot deal with it in a constructive way without influencing the children.
Hey Jeanie
the board panel member sounds interesting.
You are so right that it is not always the residential parent. I have been involved in many cases where the non residential parent has used strategies to trick the children into different ways of thinking about their residential parent. I guess that grandparents could also be included in that group too.
Courts in Australia are a bit shy on the syndrome because of the discrediting in the States…but, having said that, PAS does still have a lot of recognition in the States.
It is an interesting area. My view is that whether PAS is professionally accepted or not, I witness the effects of parental childish behaviour on children - where parents do put their own views about the other parent onto kids, it is parentification of a child and totally unacceptable.
I agree with you re adults “growing up.”
I live in the united States. Parental alienation is hitting hard everywhere. I’m on the board of Split N Two and I’m also a child survivor of Parental Alienation. This has been like a ball and chain around my body for years. I would love to see when couples get divorced they have to take a mandatory course about parenting which would include Parental Alienation. No course No divorce.
The destruction of a bond with one parent because of another parent is sad and hurts the child for life. More awareness needs to be made known about parental alienation.
PAS is accepted by some professinals here but not many. Most don’t know of it or they don’t touch it because of the politcal reprecusions it can have. We are waking a sleeping giant in Washington DC this August 15-17 we will celebrate the gift of family.
Chrissy welcome and my apologies for being born to childish parents.
Yes to the course with divorce but I would also like to see everyone take parenting classes before they have kids.
Excellent website on PAS Chrissy and love the idea of the bike trek.
Congratulations to Split n Two and thank you for helping to educate and consciousness raise.