Imaginif, home of the talk doctors, Megan Bayliss, BITSS of Protective Behaviours; For counselling, training, supervision, child therapy, child protection, sexual assault counselling.

Consistent parenting messages

June 15, 2008

Are you a hypocrite in your parenting messages? The fastest way to lose your child’s respect is to not practice what you preach.

bike from MonkMojo’s 1000 cuts blog.

Domestic violent and sexual perpetrators frequently give mixed messages: a tactic of power and control. A hypnotic technique the mixed messages are designed to break down a victim’s cognitions and lull them into a state of confusion, silence and helplessness. Don’t give mixed parenting messages to your children. I train people to hear mixed messages and resultant confusion as a warning bell - an early warning sign that not all is well.

Next time you offer a piece of parenting advise or life coaching, consider whether you are about to use a tactic of power and control or if you are giving a consitent parenting message. Listen to your child and join with them in their adventure of learning and self discovery.

Thanks to Chris Austria, parent, and author of the Wat da Wat?. I really enjoyed his post and comic at Monk Mojo’s 1000 cuts. It made sense to me and I’ll be making the comic into a wall poster for my therapy room.

Posted by Megan | Filed Under Blog, Child Safety & Protection, Parenting 

Comments

2 Responses to “Consistent parenting messages”

  1. PlanningQueen on June 16th, 2008 10:54 pm

    Great post Megan. I am currently trying to work with an adult who uses power and control with my kids and getting them to see why it is not helpful for them.

  2. Megan on June 17th, 2008 9:56 am

    Hey PQ. Tactics of power and control used by family members are so insidious. My thoughts are with you. Good luck.

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