Drunk and raped in Cairns
June 17, 2008
Inebriated women in Cairns run the risk of being raped, according to local police: Booze fuels sex attacks - cops. The Far North Police area has long had high rates of sexual assaults (or reported sexual assaults). I wonder who is responsible for the sexual attacks? Police, community or individual?
Messages to women to not drink excessively, to not walk home alone and to always stay in contact with another person and to inform them of your whereabouts are often met with disgruntled community squeals of forcing women to be responsible for men’s bad behaviour. I am not in favour of making anyone else responsible for another’s doings, but, I do take the sentiment that local Cairns police were attempting to convey: responsible drinking and personal safety. Research has supported that there has long been a link between alcohol use and sexual assault and that women have to enact safety measures before they become alcohol affected.
Women have the right to go anywhere and do what ever they like: including getting drunk if that is what they fancy. Similarly, women have the right to wear what they like. However, with rights comes responsibility. We all have the right to jump on the plane and go to Papua New Guinea, but we would not do it without having the correct shots, visas or Malaria tablets. We would be responsible and act to protect ourselves.
The international and annual Reclaim the Night movement was born out of women being told to stay indoors after dark. A serial killer on the loose, Police imposed a curfew in an attempt to keep women safe. Women reacted and demanded that Police keep the women safe by catching the killer. Now, more than 30 years later, on the last Friday evening of October, women and children still take to the streets as a reminder of their right to safety, day and night, at home or on the street. I am sure that marching inebriated is not acceptable as it may well void insurance. I am sure that march organisers risk manage against all manner of potential harms. I am sure that march organisers recognise that with rights comes responsibilities.
Who’s job then is it to risk manage and keep inebriated woman safe in Cairns, or any other town? The women, the police, the community?
Photo, “Tired of the night” by sol_one at stock.xchng.
Therapy pets to teach protective behaviours
June 12, 2008
Imaginif is on the hunt for a selection of small therapy pets: guinea pigs, guinea fowl, bantams. Talk doctor Rebekah Allen fostered an abused Puppy from the dog shelter and our child clients loved her. Talk doctor Rebekah used the puppy’s abuse as an introduction to the children’s experience of abuse and as a lead in to protective behaviour conversations. It has worked beautifully and now many of the children greet me not with, “Hello Megan,” but with, “Is Izzy here today?”
Keran over at Birdwing Therapies uses her adorable therapy pup Pabu to build resilience and teach empathy in her child clients. Many nursing homes use dogs as companion healers for lonely and depressed residents. Disability support services frequently encourage the use of animals as therapy. Animals as therapy makes sense.
Rather than get a dog or cat, Imaginif has decided to offer a selection of small therapy animals. I posted a request in Cairns FreeCycle (Yahoo teams with Freecycle to turn junk into treasure) and have this morning had a response about a same gender guinea pig set. We continue to seek Guinea Fowl (how I love those birds) and Bantams.
Are you in Cairns and do you have some Keats (Guinea Fowl chicks), bantams, or similar small and huggingly portable pet you would be willing to gift to children in therapy at Imaginif? They will be cared for by myself and will live in luxury at the new Imaginif premises. Please contact Megan Bayliss if you can be a childhood hero.
Some pet therapy sites of interest:
Animal Assisted Therapy
Association of Australian Assistance Dogs (Mareeba)
Paws Outdoors (dog walking in Cairns - recommended by Megan Bayliss from Imaginif)
Take stock with FREE protective behaviour training
June 11, 2008
End of financial year stock take sales are everywhere. At Imaginif, rather than stock take, we encourage people to take stock of their life and to do things that bring on the positive winds of change.
To celebrate difference, Imaginif is having a Take Stock sale.
BITSS of Protective Play financial year end training
Imaginif is now giving away
two one FREE positions in the next
BITSS of Protective Play training
to be held in Cairns on the 20th of June, 2008.
Hurry: The first two web based contact forms received back stating you would like a FREE place in the BITSS training on June 20th, will receive the complementary positions. I will email you confirmation of your winning take stock position and you will get the full training package just as every other attendee on the day gets.
Take stock now and get a FREE training in the BITSS model of protective behaviours (value $175.00 p/p).
If you are travelling and want accommodation close to Cairns, Imaginif recommends two Bed and Breakfasts in the street immediately behind us:
Get your rocks off for child safety
May 28, 2008
Introducing talk about personal safety, protective behaviours and, oh ah….vagina and penises, can be difficult for many parents. Sex predators love kids who are emotionally and communication disconnected from safe people. They especially love kids who can’t talk straight and say something how it is (because the perpetrators can then twist disclosures to make it look the child was lying or that the child’s words meant something else). I’m sick of perpetrators getting to our kids. It is time to stone them! It is time to stone talk to kids about protective behaviours.
Talk with the help of a stone
Find a stone, rock or something natural and common in your area. It must be big enough to not be swallowed by a child and small enough to be tucked safely away in a precious box, drawer or dressing table. Give the stone to your child and tell them that the stone is special but that it is also private (like a vagina or penis). Not a secret (secrets are bad, surprises are good) but something private that nobody else may ever touch or look at without your child’s permission. The stone is to be kept in a special place, beyond the eyes of everyone else and only pulled out at times of cleaning, or checking. The stone is so sacred that if ever anybody touches it, your child must immediately tell a safe adult: you.
Stone age child protection metaphors
The stone is a metaphor for a private part - a penis, vagina, anus or breast. During your stone talk or stone play you may like to casually share the following information: Just like the stone, we also keep our private parts covered up and hidden from public view. Just like the stone they can at times be shown or touched. Sometimes the doctor or nurse may have to touch to make sure that all is well. But doctors and nurses or even people bathing the child, only ever touch there quickly and for a cleansing reason. If ever anybody spends too much time looking at or touching the private parts then it is a sign that not all is right and the child should tell a safe adult immediately.
There’s more ideas for protective play in Parent Sense, a 12 page protective behaviour tutorial free for you to download and use.
Many thanks to my 23 year old son for this idea. He rang me one night, shared his idea of helping parents to talk about personal safety with their kids and I have used the idea ever since. Thanks Rhys.
You may also be interested in these protective play ideas:
5 gifts to encourage child safety
Head and shoulders, knees and vagina
Are Children’s books providing them with enough advice?
The secret business of child sexual abuse caught by surprise
Child Protection Party Game with snake bite
May 26, 2008
Talk doctor Rebekah was unable to hold court at the BITSS children’s party so I had to officiate. Oh oh…I’m too old. I don’t do kids any more.
“Know any games good for teaching emotional intelligence?” I sarcastically asked my own ‘Mister sometimes emotionally constipated’.
Master 12 really is an amazing child and I should not be sarcastic. He doesn’t understand my moods and hormonal reactions. He has Aspergers. Some days are good for him, some days are less than perfect 
Obviously I caught him on a sharing and caring day because he knew exactly which game I should play with a bunch of preschoolers for helping to teach them about the second BITSS element of intuition (feelings and early warning body signs).
“Have a competition,” he enthused. ”Slowly stretch a lolly (candy) snake as far as it can be stretched without breaking it. Make a sad face to the kids whose snake breaks and then a happy face when they put the pieces in their mouth to eat it. For the kid who wins, clap big time and ask him how he feels. Ask all of them what was happening inside their tummy or chest as they were trying to be the winner by stretching their snake. Ask them what would happen in their tummy or chest if it was a real snake!”
The protective play party was a success. The kids LOVED the stretch the snake game and really got into exaggerating facial expressions to match emotions and body language to display early warning signs. What an excellent and quick party game and teachable moment for intuition.
My child is brilliant and emotionally intelligent, so, I will not be packing him off to the snake pit of boarding school this week.
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