Why you need to teach your kids about safety and protection from child sex abusers

BITSS of Protective Behaviours is a play program designed by Megan Bayliss from Imaginif.

Innocence spoilt or innocence preserved? Parents the world over debate against anyone teaching their children about that disgusting and perverted sex stuff: “When should I start teaching my child about Protective Behaviours? Not now surely. They’re only seven,” or “I don’t need to teach my child about Protective Behaviours because my child is safe” are claims that I have heard for years.

The shocking prevalence statistics are that one in three Australian children are sexually assaulted by the time they are 18. The average age of disclosure on of sexual assault in Australia is age 9. Eighty five percent of child sexual abuse is perpetrated by somebody well known to the child.

One in three! One in three!!!!! That is innocence spoilt. That is disgusting. That predators are having in home access to our children is disgusting. Our kids are at a higher risk of good old Uncle Lester abusing them than of having Dennis Ferguson move into the same street.

Perpetrators sexually assault because they can….because they have access to our children….because we have failed to pre educate, to proactively protect and tell  our children that NOBODY is allowed to touch their private parts and ask for it to be kept secret.

What do I need to do to be a protective parent:

Start to teach your child about Protective Behaviours today. No matter what age your child, they are neither too young or too old to start learning about protective behaviours. New baby or college student, if you have a child or young person in your care, it is time to protect them from possible (probable even when you look at the prevalence statistic of 1 in 3) harm.

Protective Behaviours are not about teaching sex, smut and rot. Protective behaviours are a common sense approach to keeping ourselves safe under all circumstances. While is it NEVER a child’s job to protect themselves (it is our job as their loving parent), Protective Behaviors provides the child with a plan of what to do, who to go to for help, and when they should go to that safe person.

Protective Behaviours are things that most parents teach their children. Wear a hat for sun safety; Wear shoes for protection from cuts and parasites; Do not take drugs; Do not leave your drinks uncovered because of the possibility of drink spiking, etc, etc. What parent has not schooled their child in some sort of safety?

Yet personal safety, protective behaviours, about our body (particularly our private parts) is an area that many parents shy away from. Many parents see protective behaviours as scary, rude or unnecessary. Many parents insist that protective behaviours (often wrongly renamed as sex education by ignorant parents) be taught only at home and never at school in the classroom.

From the time our babies begin to learn songs about body parts (Head and shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes) we leave out the importance of our private parts: our vagina, penis, anus, or breasts. At age three, our children are already internalising that those parts are not to be mentioned. Sexual predators LOVE this. They love a child who will keep their mouth shut: a child who will be too embarrassed to tell parents about what somebody did or said to them. Our children need to know before they go to Kindergarten or start learning body part songs that it is not rude to call their private parts by the correct name. They need to know that it is okay to talk about those parts and that sometimes big people try to trick children into keeping secrets about private parts. People who do that are nasty and need to be told on.

BITSS are important letters (reminders for the teachable moments) to include in everyday play with your children, no matter what their age:

• Body ownership,
• Intuition,
• Touch,
• Say No,
• Support Network.

By using these bits of play letters, every day, you will reduce the chance that your child will remain silent if someone tries to sexually abuse them.

Using play (or discussion for teenagers) you will find teachable moments to use any one, or all, of the BITSS letters. Play is children’s work. It is through BITSS of play that they will learn about self-protection, how to tell someone if something does happen to them and how to say “no.” You probably already help protect your children against sexual assault, but, they need gentle, daily, reminders of what to do: preferably from the time they are newborns.

BITSS play provides you with some fun ways to remind. Use these bits of information in everyday activities (bathing, nappy changing, making sandwiches, reading, playing together, etc) so that your children continually hear the BITSS required in keeping them safe from child sexual assault.

You may also find these articles helpful:

Understanding Protective Behaviours in Keeping Children Safe.

Are Children’s Books Providing them with Enough Advice?

Five Simple Bits to Help Keep Kids Safe.

Protect Kids from Sexual Predators. Use Correct Names for Private Parts.

BITSS of Protective Behaviours

For God’s sake. If you are a common sense parent will you PLEASE protect your children.