Creative Life blogging for secret Santa, the Little Dun Pony

Aspiring writer and serious blogger, Julie at the Little Dun Pony is one of our secret Santas that merrily spread the Christmas spirit ALL YEAR LONG. Like Lady Godiva she rides her pony through the blogosphere streets, baring her soul and love of justice, throwing goodwill and generosity to the small business website she plays secret Santa to.

Julie is a long supporter of child protection (remember white balloon day, Sept 7) and in building responsible and sustainable communities. She jumped at the chance to support small business websites through a year round secret Santa system because the mission, to match and support small business websites and blogs to encourage the Christmas spirit of goodwill, generosity, altruism and giving to last ALL YEAR long,  fits with her own value system of paying it forward and community protecting community.

Comfortable with creating social capital, Julie is a terrific secret Santa and approaches her weekly small business website support tasks with the zest and passion of kids waking up on Christmas morning.

Thanks for caring, Julie, and thanks for all you do to encourage others to raise blogs: especially aspiring writers. A writer without a blog is like a writer without an imagination. Writer’s need blogs nowadays to assist them to get published and sell their writing. Publishers prefer writers with blogs.

If you have a blog, or a small business website, you are welcome to join our year long secret Santa system. Increase your traffic threefold and open yourself to the encouragement and support (and little gifts from time to tome) of other bloggers and small business website owners.

Join our fun and guaranteed traffic and custom increasing system now. You will get someone like Julie who cares enough about you to enact reciprocal and random acts of website kindness, all year long.

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Livable cities are safe cities

Safety is a concept that effects all of us and impacts upon the way we live our lives. Years of working with children who have been sexually assaulted resulted in me writing training manuals for parents (see Parent Sense) to help give them ideas on how to teach safety through play.

 

What ideas do you have for safe, city living. Send them in to Phillips because safety is every one’s business.

 

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Child Abduction Alert in Mareeba

QLD Police Issue Child Abduction Alert in Mareeba area: The Queensland Police Service is seeking urgent public assistance to help locate a 15-year-old boy and an 11-year-old girl who may be at risk after being taken from Mareeba around 8pm last evening.

From cairns.com.au (accessed 30.7.10):

Two children abducted in Mareeba

Melanie Petrinec, Friday, July 30, 2010, © The Cairns Post

QUEENSLAND Police Service are seeking urgent public assistance to help locate two children abducted from Mareeba around 8pm yesterday.

A 15-year-old boy and an 11-year-old girl may be at risk after being taken from Mareeba about 8pm Thursday night, police say.

Simon “Sam” Elmas, 57, is believed to be travelling in a 1996 grey Volvo sedan with 15-year-old Kai Elmas and 11-year-old Romany Elmas.

He is described as Mediterranean in appearance, approximately 183cm tall with a medium build and short, greying brown hair.

The boy is of a similar height and also Mediterranean in appearance with a fair complexion, short brown hair and brown eyes.

The girl is described as having a fair complexion, 130cm tall with long brown hair, brown eyes and a proportionate build.

The car is a 1996 grey Volvo sedan with Queensland registration 461 DHS.

Anyone with information is urged not to approach the vehicle or the man, and phone Triple Zero immediately.

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Play your way to safety with No Go Tell games for children

Play is children’s work, it is how they learn and develop. Therefore,using play to help children remember important information is an important part of development.

Keeping our kids safe is our job, and a really difficult job because we cannot control what somebody else does to our kids….particularly sneaky people or people we trust (did you know that 85% of child sexual abuse is perpetrated by somebody well known to the child!).

Combining play and our need to keep our kids safe, I designed a play model of protective behaviours, Parent Sense: a 12 page protective play tutorial, to help us all out. Parent Sense makes easy work of explaining all the personal safety bits, No Go Tell, Stranger Danger and Protective Behaviours,  to our kids. All you have to do is play the suggested games and you are giving your kids messages of safety that their brains can easily remember when they are in danger or are stressed.

Here’s two really clever protective play ideas that other parents came up with and that are not yet included in Parent Sense: The BITSS model of Protective Behaviours

  1. Brush up on Good Touch/Bad Touch (need three different types and sizes of brushes. Act this out to the kids: it’s funny and will stay in their minds because it is different and playful).

    “These three brushes all touch us the same way,”Mummy began. “They touch us by brushing. This one here is a good touch. It feels good when Mummy brushes your hair. Soft, nice. But…if Mummy is cranky and yanks that brush through your hair; BAD touch.”

    This one here is a nail brush. Still a brush but when you brush your hair with this one, it hurts a little because it’s job is to brush finger and toe nails, not hair. Because it feels scratchy on your scalp it tells you; warning, warning – wrong use of brush.”

    This one is a scrubbing bush. Try to brush hair with this and it hurts big time. Try to brush finger and toe nails and it is too rough. It is a very bad touch.”

    “Big people’s hands can be like these brushes. Hands are for helping – good touch. Hands are for loving but sometimes the loving brush is wrong and makes you feel funny inside – warning touch. Hands can hurt and if someone tried to touch your private parts it is a very bad touch. You don’t scrub your privates with a scrubbing brush and nobody is allowed to touch your private parts either. That is bad touch. If someone is nail brushing or scrub brushing you, your early warning signs deep inside your body tell you it is warning or bad touch. You can go and tell somebody you trust. It is an adult’s job to protect and help children, not to scrub them raw with bad touch.”

  2. Child Protection Party Game with Snake Bite (need a packet of Snake sweets. This game fits with increasing your child’s intuition – their emotional intelligence)

    Slowly stretch a lolly (candy) snake as far as it can be stretched without breaking it. Make a sad face to the kids whose snake breaks and then a happy face when they put the pieces in their mouth to eat it. For the kid who wins, clap big time and ask him how he feels. Ask all of them what was happening inside their tummy or chest as they were trying to be the winner by stretching their snake. Ask them what would happen in their tummy or chest if it was a real snake!”

Happy playing your way to child safety.

Bitss model of Protective Play training in Cairns on May 24.
Registrations now open

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How to use a story book to solve a problem: Bibliotherapy

Story books can provide protective ideas and guidance to children. When the reading of a book combines with a follow up activity based in the books message, it becomes bibliotherapy.

Self-help books, with structured steps for life improvement, are adult bibliotherapy. Junior fiction is just as effective for children in offering a range of problem solving options when combined with follow up activities toward integration of whatever the child’s need is.

Children learn through play. Reading is play and a preferred indoor play option for many families. The initial play and problem solving value of reading occurs as children engage with the book’s characters. Connected with the story, the child enters an imaginary space of interactive problem solving. Aided by the struggles and achievements of the characters, children learn the social rules of behavior and develop different ways of being able to seek help or reflecting on life issues. If provided with real life opportunities to test literature-induced problem solving, the child is active in their own therapy and the book becomes a good tool for providing advice.

There are three purposes of using children’s books as therapy:

1. Identification of character and social situation: This identification increases the probability of learning different behaviors and receiving advice.

2. Catharsis: Through identification, an emotional connection with the character or social situation allows children to act out and discuss their emotional responses to the situation.

3. Insight: Through beneficial discussion and follow-up play, the child integrates the link between the story and their own life, with opportunities to practice how to address and solve issues of concern.

With these purposes in mind, the following nine steps will turn any children’s book into affordable therapy.

Step 1) Identify the practical advice (the message) you want your child to know.

Step 2) Match the message with an appropriate book. Seek out junior fiction/non-fiction that deals with the particular issue (drugs, death, alcoholism, fear, bullying, protective behaviour, etc). While searching for the advice appropriate book, remember that:

  • The book should match your child’s reading ability level,
  • The text must be at an interest level appropriate to the maturity of the youngster,
  • The theme of the book should match the identified needs,
  • The characters should be believable so that the child can identify with with the dilemma,
  • The plot of the story should be realistic and involve creativity in problem solving.

Step 3) Decide on the setting and time for the story reading. Will you read it with/to your child, will you leave the book for your child to find, will you suggest the book to your child as a great read and hope they ask you to buy it for them?

Step 4) Knowing that you need to be active for bibliotherapy to be effective, motivate your child to become involved with an associated problem solving follow up activity by making play suggestions prior to story end (e.g. “On the weekend we could have a Yell free day and instead mime out our angry feelings.”)

Step 5) Based on your child’s reaction to your motivating suggestions, design one or more end-of-book-connected activities. This may be as simple as being available for discussion after story end, engaging with your child in drawing a picture from the story, or helping your child journal their thoughts on the book. More exciting: actively encourage dramatic play or drama around the learning issue, or visit a place connected to the story.

Step 6) Pre engage in the follow up activities by asking questions or having short discussions throughout the reading. At the end of a chapter or every few pages, sum up so that “the message” does not get lost in the fantasy.

Step 7) Straight after story end, take a break and allow your child to do their own reflection on the material.

Step 8) Introduce the follow-up activities by briefly retelling the story, focusing on how the characters solved their issue, and let the child know what you could both do to honor the advice/message in the book.

Step 9) Assist your child to integrate the advice gained by honestly answering any questions they may have.

Children’s story books, followed by a well thought out activity makes for cheap therapy: BIBLIOTHERAPY.

What books do you favour as problem solving or inspirational learning for your children? Two of our favorites have been: The Man who Loved Boxes and Guess How Much I love You.

My own children’s book, Bitss of Caramel Marmalade on Toast is written as bibliotherapy. It is designed to teach personal safety and boundaries. To purchase, contact me.

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