Child Pawn

November 28, 2009 by Megan · Leave a Comment 

Photo by Blue Seat at SXC Photo Exchange.

Photo by Blue Seat at SXC Photo Exchange.

Many of us get radical around the exploitation of children in the chocolate (cocoa) plantations and diamond mines. I only drink Fair Trade tea and coffee. I comment when I serve it, “No children were harmed in the making of this coffee/chocolate.” Many of us devote our lives to ending the exploitation of children. We work for low wages, put up with appalling abuse and trudge through the shit of life. Many of us scream when children’s clothing metaphorically or literally says, “Porn Star, come love me.” Many of us take up the protection of children because we believe that kids have the right to have a childhood free of fear, abuse and exploitation. I believe this. I work for this!

I wonder at the use of children in advertising and marketing. How far do corporations go before the children become corporate pawns? Where is that line between the playground and the pawn shop where we sell our kids for a solution to our business needs?

I recently watched some “marganalised” children, rounded up from a low socio economic neighbourhood, coached and trained to voluntarily entertain the Elderly for Halloween (the elderly being the older people in a rather affluent neighbourhood). A nice thing to do, yes? A good thing even because the kids learnt some skills, their self esteem may have been positively impacted and they got to see an alternative way to live life (in affluence :) ). However, the poor children did not get paid for their entertainment but the specifically recruited project manager and event coordinator did….and they then used the pictures of the children in their brochure advertising for their event management business.The pictures were used to display the excellent corporate social responsibility of the event company: to showcase that it is a good thing to round up kids from poor families and parade them in front of the rich so the rich can feel good and the poor can feel richer for the experience.

Ummm….children in the diamond mines don’t get paid for their performance but the organisers do. Is their a parallel here? Is the West capitalist society reframing child labour as acceptable entertainment and skill acquisition?

The children’s show was so fantastic that, many external agencies booked the “margainalised” kids up to come and perform for them at Christmas bonanzas and Carol nights…no remuneration, no recognition of the time these children have to practice and stay in a controlled emotional state, no thought that we might be exploiting these children, again. The children were booked because charity is good, helping others less fortunate is a nice thing to do. Giving the poor families a break, a chance, an opportunity is all that is needed to fulfil social responsibility.

What about the cost of petrol for the parents to get these kids to practices and events. What about the cost of the new brush, the new clothes, the new social graces so that kids and their parents felt less different in flash surroundings. What about the cost of child abuse to get these kids to perform?

As I thought my discomfort through and watched a clutch of well meaning businesses bobbing around the children, kissing, hugging and congratulating them, my mind conjured up a crutch of pimps all trying to win up the kids to do a blow job on their vessel.

Child Pawn came to mind: the exchange of children’s performance for a need. If opportunistic prostitution is the exchange of sex for a commodity (hot meal, roof over the head, shower, etc) what is the exchange of children’s performance for business gain???

Am I being too sensitive to child protection here or have I just witnessed the exploitation of children?

Other articles to help you think about how we allow our children to be used as pawns:

Corporate Pedophillia

Coffee, Tea and Chocolate for Child Protection

Jay Jay’s is the little loser

Revealing Children’s Fashion

Reuters knife Dolce and Gabbana

This article is dramatised and is a combination of witnessed events. The reflections and analysis are my own. Any similarlity to people or events is purely accidental.
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NAPCAN breaks down walls that hide child abuse

September 30, 2009 by Megan · 3 Comments 

Napcan preventing child abuse take our surveyI am proud to notify you of an important initiative that I am supporting over the next two months. The National Attitudinal Survey is an innovative community project designed to gauge Australia’s attitudes on issues of child abuse and neglect.

Led by NAPCAN (National association for Prevention of Child Abuse and Neglect) and supported by the Federal Government the short 15min survey will bring together Australia’s public sector, business, communities and individuals to form one voice against child abuse and neglect.

Consider this:

Over 30,000 children are abused or neglected in Australia every year.
1 in 3 girls are sexually abused before the age of 18.
1 in 7 boys are sexually abused before the age of 18.

How can you act right now? By logging on now to:

www.preventingchildabuse.com.au

After you have finished the survey, forward the link to other staff, colleagues and your family and friends.

By doing so you will join NAPCAN’s Children’s Champion, Therese Rein, Channel 7 personality and 2007 Father of the Year David Koch, 100s of businesses, government departments and community organisations, and thousands of other Australians in acting to keep our children safe into the future.

I hope you choose to support this vital survey.

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BITSS of Protective Behaviours

August 22, 2009 by Megan · 1 Comment 

 

BITSS for protecting kids

BITSS for protecting kids

 

BITSS is an acronym for:
B
ody Ownership
Intuition
Touch
Say No
Support Network

Here’s a FREE copy of Parent Sense, a tutorial that sets out games and activities to play for each of the 5 important protective behaviour BITSS.

Edit: Link to Parent Sense removed as Parent Sense now only available through our membership based Peer Supervision Forum.

 

BITSS began in 1998. My youngest child was at day care. I arrived to pick him up one afternoon and walked into a fight between several little boys.

“It’s a cock,” said one.

“It’s a willy,” said another.

“It’s a trouser snake,” laughed another little boy as he slapped his partners in crime on the back.

“It’s a penis,” said my three year old as he stomped his frustrated little foot. “It’s a penis, it’s a penis, it’s a penis!”

Oh, oh. The director invited us to her room. We were in trouble because my child said, “penis”.

As I listened to the directors explanation for our potential suspension (you can’t say penis or vagina, it’s rude), it dawned on me that my expectations of early educators and protective behaviour knowledge was too high. If we were relying on early educators to impart correct protective behaviour skills to our children, then we were in trouble. Just like other people, some early educators are terrified about protective behaviour talking. Also, if early educators are a representative group of the community, then one in three early educators would also have their own sexual assault issues. Un-dealt with personal issues makes it difficult to deal with similar social issues. It’s too hard so people stay away from it or use old myths taught to them as children (never mention those parts of the body; stranger danger, etc)

After facing suspension from day care for using inappropriate language, MY child (yes, sir, my child, not the other children who actually were using inappropriate words for the male private part) and I went home: he unhappy and angry because I got him into trouble (I told him his penis was a penis), me motivated to produce an easy model of protective behaviours that did not rely on early childhood educators training our children (No Go Tell, Stranger Danger, etc): A model that parents could use in their own homes to teach their own children. It had to be easy and it had to be fun.

BITSS was born after much research, consultation with parents and professionals and grouping of the five major protective concepts together: body ownership, intuition, touch, say no and support network – these are the BITSS that will help to keep your child safe from sexual assault.

bitss-jigsaw.jpg

The BITSS model uses protective play and teachable moments: activities and games that can be gently woven into everyday life. Research suggests that protective behaviours taught in school once every six months are insufficient to help children remember what to do in potentially dangerous personal situations. Reminders in the home, in the child’s every day life are the best way to keep your children safe.

If you’re wondering how to make sure your kids remember important safety rules about safety, use the BITSS model of protective play. Here’s a FREE copy of Parent Sense, a tutorial that sets out games and activities to play for each of the 5 important protective behaviour BITSS.

Imaginif…BITSS of play kept our children safe.

Understanding Protective Behaviours in keeping Children Safe.

Five simple BITSS to help keep kids safe

When Should I Start Teaching my Child about Protective Behaviours

What are Protective Behaviours

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White Balloon Day 2009 for child sexual assault

August 11, 2009 by Megan · 2 Comments 

White Balloon Day is on Tuesday 8th September. White Balloon Day is a national event: it is a day we all get to be involved in protecting children against sexual assault. Currently one in five children are sexually assaulted before their 18th birthday BUT – we can change this. Get involved in White Balloon Day and send all children and survivors everywhere a message of support, belief and respect.

  • Tie a white balloon to your letterbox, pot plant at work, counter or street sign
  • Hold a Wear White Day at your office or workplace or perhaps hold a White Tea
  • Visit your local Terry White Pharmacy and buy one our really lovely ‘enviro shopping bags for just $2. In fact, if you can always use Terry White Pharmacies as a preference that would be great – they are great supporters of child protection
  • Visit your local Bendigo Bank and make a donation – every cent helps….
  1. $10 buys a child a personal safety education program
  2. $25 buys a crisis counselling/support session
  3. $50 buys a specialist therapy session

This is your chance to do something to help children AND publicly SAY NO to sexual assault. Channel 9 and the 4BC radio network are supporting this campaign as are Terry White Chemists, Bendigo Bank, Nutrimetics, Rotary and others. Visit the White Balloon Day  website and find our more about how you can help. Remember, when it comes to CHILD SEXUAL ASSAULT, IT’S ALL WHITE TO SAY NO!

What are you going to do?

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What to do if your child tells you they have been sexually abused

July 26, 2009 by Megan · Leave a Comment 

Working with children who have been sexually assaulted is the most satisfying job I have ever done. Working with parents and foster carers of those children is an honour: a privilege. I have recently sat with some amazing foster carers and we discussed sexualiased behaviours and how to react if disclosures ever came the foster carers way. In respect and thanks to those amazing foster carers, I have re trenched a post written more than a year ago:

What Can I Do if My Child Tells Me Someone Has Done Bad “Sex” Things to Them?

Imaginif…you knew what to do if your child disclosed sexual abuse.

Child sexual assault is against the law. Don’t keep it to yourself. First, believe your child and then TELL someone in a position to help you. Telling about child sexual abuse helps to end the prevalence figure of one in three. Child sexual abuse WILL CONTINUE if we don’t all take responsibility and tell someone when it has occurred. Tell the school principal, your local doctor, the police, a friend, the local Welfare agency. TELL SOMEONE who will help you.

It is not your responsibility to investigate and prove any disclosures of sexual abuse. Leave this to the Police or to the welfare agency in your state tasked with the responsibility of investigation. It is your responsibility to protect, believe and support your child.

Never approach the alleged perpetrator of the child sexual abuse. Focus on your child. Protect them. Minimize contact between them and the alleged abuser.

Talk, talk, talk to your child. Bust the secret right open. Apologise to your child for not having known that it happened and regain your child’s trust and confidence. Reassure your child that you will do something to stop it from ever happening again.

Allow your child to sleep in your bedroom if they feel scared or insecure. Your child needs to know that you are indeed a safe person and that you can, and will protect them.

After the police or the local welfare agency has interviewed your child, take your child to a child sexual abuse therapist. Talking about the sexual abuse helps to clear the child’s mind and allows them another avenue of being heard and believed.

Surround your family with supportive people. People who doubt or blame you are not helpful to your child’s recovery. This is a great time to increase your family’s support network and to train all of your children in protective behaviours.

Imaginif…we wiped out sexual abuse by telling someone when it happens. Sexual predators demand secrecy. Take away the secrecy and we make the predators think twice about sexually abusing another child.

Recommended subscription to a FREE newsletter on child safety: Kidproof.

Related blog from families.com: The Grooming Process of a Child Sexual Predator.

For further help on protecting your child against sexual assault, please use the games and activities in Parent Sense: a FREE tutorial, written by Megan Bayliss, on keeping kids safe from sexual predators.

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