A blended family is a family unit that contains children not of the biological making of both parents together. Step families, or families where one parent remarries and then has children to the new partner are also considered to be blended families.
Talk about being put in the blender and shaken about: our past week has been a blended week that truly resembled blended and step families being born from loss.
My youngest child has returned to live with us. It was unexpected and we were unprepared. The same day he returned to our home, one of my family members found their life turned upside down and relied heavily upon us for support. The support required was full on and intense. Can you imagine – we were coping with the shock, delight and trauma associated with an enforced and sudden return home of 12 year old son (this has meant changing towns, schools, etc – a HUGE thing) only to then have the trauma and constant needs of another family member sit upon us as we attempted to settle Master 12.
Today is the first chance I have had to even get into my office and turn on my computer! To all those who have emailed, telephoned or tried to contact via other means, I offer my most sincere apology. I have been otherwise engaged. Thankfully a local school has agreed to take 12 year old as of today, just three days before school holidays!
When 12 year old returned to live with his father last July, Paul and decided to move to a one bedroom flat. We achieved the move over the Christmas break. With no warning of a change in living circumstances, we have also had to move back to the house in the last week. Poor talk doctor Rebekah has had to hold the fort at Imaginif and juggle her full counselling case load. Amongst that, she has had to listen to me let off steam about competing demands and a lack of communication and planning! Thank you Rebekah for just listening to me. I GREATLY appreciate your calm and sensibility.
So here I am, back in the real time and virtual land of Imaginif. It is so good to have boy child settled, the supports for my other family member all kicking in today and for me to be semi back at work and leaving the very real difficulties of blended families in my past. Rather than devote a full day to work, Paul and I have opted to have a mental health day together. We are both working until 10.30am and are then going on a date, a stroll and an uninterrupted enjoyment of each other’s company.
To all you blended families out there, my thoughts are often with you all. How do you cope when things go wrong? What are your supports?
Associated sites:
Blending Families: a Guide for Stepparents
What are blended families like?
Blended Family Problems
Have missed you around the blogosphere, Megan!
Sounds like a wild ride. I’m glad things are smoothing out and I hope you and Paul have an awesome mental health day.
Alison xo
Sounds pretty full on. I hope your son settles in well at school and that things go smoothly at home.
I didn’t realise how much I missed you until I saw you pop up again!
What a sudden and dramatic change for you all. Good luck on it, remember the love and positive dreams and try not to let the little things worry at you all too much.
But then, who am I to offer advice to you? Communication is the key, as you espouse and know.
Hugs.
Megan, I can soooo relate to your story. One of my kids decided to “try things out” by living with The Dad for awhile to see how it went. Only for me to suddenly receive a phone call early one morning at 3a.m. from my daughter calling to say she was at the airport waiting for me to pick her up!
She had only been living with The Dad for five months, and he got mad at her about something and put her on a plane back to me, without so much as a phone call to let me know. Poor kid was worried and wondering why I didn’t pick her up “on time”, but understood once I explained I didn’t know she was coming back. “But Dad said he called you and talked to you and that you said it was ok”. Of course it was ok, but The Dad is a habitual liar, and my poor daughter was frantic thinking I decided not to pick her up at all. Argh!
Thanks all. We are both back at work full time today…..oh my….the emails and phone calls!
Boy has enjoyed his second day at school and appears to be adjusting to the changed and quite different routine (step mum didn’t work out of the home).
Jeanie I missed my regular internet contacts so much in the week away. I hadn’t figured on them being so much a part of my consciousness, but, I guess when we all share so much of our intimate lives that very strong bonds are formed. I had a chuckle about your “who am I to offer advice to you,” comment. Jeanie I am a Mum before I am a professional and just like you and all the other Mums, I forget things some times and need to be told in very plain language to just chill. Your advise is welcome any time my friend.
It is good to be back into my routine.