We connect small business websites to each other for secret Santa and the Christmas spirit of goodwill, generosity, altruism and giving, ALL YEAR long.
The first birthday edition of the Carnival of Australia is now playing over at Aussie Bloggers. Thanks for hosting Meg and thanks to all the Aussie’s who submitted their blogs.
We’ll be off to an ANZAC parade tomorrow and I hope that many others will as well. In times of global unrest it pays to remember the shocking effects of war and lack of social understanding.
Recently interviewed by The Cairns Post, the “Upclose” article is in today’s Cairns Eye.
I love my straight hair and it is a great article – thanks photographer husband Marc and his reporter wife, Sandra McCormack. The whole interview process and the photo shoot was a real hoot.
This feature came about as a result of an email from one of the other talk doctors – Rebekah Allen. Rebekah and I have worked together for a few years now and she has recently bought her business, Remedy Psychology, into the space of the Imaginif family. Also having a work history within the specialist counselling sector, Rebekah made contact with the Cairns Eye and suggested they do a feature. Thanks Rebekah, the phone call from the editor to arrange an interview was a surprise and a pleasure.
As quoted in Sandra’s article, “survivors of sexual assault are the most inspirational people” I have had the pleasure to work with. Thank you to all the survivors that I have ever worked with and all those who live their life determined to overcome the violation that they were subjected to – often by a domestic terrorist. It seems Cairns Eye has got a watchful eye out for your community safety too. Congratulations to them.
Here’s two very interesting, fairly recent, Media releases on sex offenders:
GOVERNMENT TOUGH ON SEX OFFENDERS: SPENCE. Ummmm…has alleged sex offender family blogger breached his reporting obligations or provided false or misleading information to authorities? I wonder if authorities were aware of his “family focused” internet movements before I contacted the police? It would be interesting to know if he is obligated to disclose his alleged sex offender registered status on his family advice blog.
Messenger ignores the experts on sex offender management. This has provided me additional food for thought. If I do have his status confirmed, disclose alleged offenders name, and he goes underground, there may well be no online police monitoring of his activities. I already know that alleged offender has been looked at – is this then enough? I will not break the law but I will not allow a child to be placed at risk either (thank goodness I reported when I first became aware – it pays to know your ethical and child protection responsibilities as an online content provider). This media release has given me some real food for thought and created a further critical analysis of the entire situation. His victim is also concerned that he may go underground. This is a very good point to ponder.
What’s your thoughts? Do you think registered sex offenders should be publicly named? Why / why not.
One in three children are said to be sexually abused (prevalence statistic). Eighty five percent of child sexual abuse is said to be perpetrated by somebody well known to the child. Sex offenders are said to abuse many, many children in their career as a child abuser. Child sexual assault is perpetrated by men and women but is still referred to as a gendered crime, meaning that many more of one gender (male) perpetrate sex crimes than the other gender (female).
Are all men child sex abusers? No. There are many men, most men actually, who would never consider hurting or using a child for sexual acts. Unfortunately, we have become so wary that many people view everyone else suspiciously. I agree and advocate that vigilance, emotional intelligence and safety needs to be enacted at all times, but, we must all balance our vigilance with knowing that not all people are child abusers.
Recent posts on the alleged registered sex offender who blogs as a family blogger and my call for vigilance (who are you really talking to) may have caused a degree of cognitive dissonance and caused some second guessing of male, family bloggers. NOT ALL MEN ARE CHILD ABUSERS and not all male family bloggers are deviant. None of us will ever really know the internal tickings and motivations of our blogger friends and acquaintances just as we will never really know whether our family members, neighbours, community pillars are child abusers. Therefore, why boycott male family bloggers on the off chance that they may be an abuser – our best (real time) mates could be abusers and we just don’t know it.
There is so much secrecy surrounding child abuse that perpetrators feed off it and love the conquer and divide of previously close knit groups: groups like our blogging communities. It is called grooming. A perpetrator not only grooms their victim into accepting and accommodating abusive behaviour, the perpetrator also grooms those around the victim. Perpetrators are clever and operate from a different mind set that most of us do.
If we all stop blogging or visiting other sites because we are scared that the other person may be a sex predator, then offenders win: offenders succeed in their conquer and divide, diversion of fact and focused vigilance and they manage to continue their abuse unnoticed. If a predator visits us and drops their entrecard or asks to advertise on our sites, we are not at fault of not knowing they are a predator – predators are at fault for being sneaky and manipulative. Predators may well love this game and love to scream blue murder when suspicions are cast or allegations are made against them. I urge you all, do not stop visiting or using the Web 2.0 applications that you currently do. There is strength in numbers and community. We now know who the alleged sex predator is (thanks to his victim’s disclosure) and I have drawn my boundaries very close (I will not accept his entrecard advertising requests) but will still use the forums and Web 2.0 platforms that I have always enjoyed.
Our (edited) community is highly ethical and has a high proportion of professional people blogging. Helpful like you would not believe, our community bends over to help others and to protect. One of the reasons I still blog is because of the amazing professionalism I have found in those communities. But just as life imitates art, so too does the blogosphere imitate life – there will always be the odd blogger that casts doubt and suspicion on other bloggers.
Not all male family bloggers are bad. Not all (edited) bloggers are perverts. Please do not remove applications like Entrecard or stop visiting blogs of people you do not know. That is exactly what gives perpetrators more power. Take their power away by talking openly about child protection and a blogging zero tolerance of violence against children.
Who is with me in not changing blogging habits because one family blogger is alleged to be a sex offender? Prevention and togetherness, not isolation, is our aim.
Some interesting statistics on child sexual abuse:
Incest Myths
Telling it like it is (love this site)
Child Sexual Abuse 1: An overview
Sex Abuse Haunts Half of all Women
Child Sexual Abuse: Understanding and Responding
Child Abuse Statistics (March 2008)
MAKO Sex Offenders list (incomplete). Lists many, not all, Australian sex offenders
Work / life balance has never been one of my strong points. My entire adult life I have struggled to keep the demands of work out of my family life. I have failed on many occasions and even have a divorce as a result of my workalohism.
In a recent Compassion Fatigue training facilitated by me at Imaginif, a participant revealed that she views work as her hobby and her personal life as her job. What a lovely and healthy reframe. I decided that I would attempt to do the same. I failed again!!!!
My absence in the blogosphere is not due to being bored with blogging (wash your mouth out for having even uttered such a statement!) or due to the high number of requests to tell who alleged sex predator blogger is. At Imaginif we have been over the top busy and I have had a social work student start her three month internship with us as well. Add to that my approaching status as grandmother, youngest child returning to live with us and…..a top secret personal life balanced surprise that Paul has sworn me to confidentiality on. His words: “I do not want to read about this on your blog, Megan.” He he, “no darling, of course not. I will just drop a wee hint instead.”
I am still here everyone. I am helping Jenni with her new SWAGS (Social Worker Accessing Group Support) blog so you can probably check in there for the rest of the week to check on what we are doing and talking about at Imaginif. I am also helping Birdwing Therapies to increase visibility of their corporate blog. Have you checked out their blog? Go on over and say hello to Keran (who is also over the top busy at the moment).
One of the preventors of burnout (aka vicarious trauma, compassion fatigue and “I want to give up work”) is maintaining personal relationships and receiving positive feedback from colleagues. Social Workers and Psychologists often work in such a deficit mindset that it is personally satisfying to receive a warm greeting or kind word from a colleague or other person. Be sure to take the time to acknowledge and share a random act of kindness with someone you know works under stressful conditions. To Keran at Birdwing and Jenni at Imaginif – you women are fantastic, do a great job and help to keep my buoyant. Thanks for your friendship and professional support.
