WIN a childrens chapter book by simply keeping kids safe.

December 22, 2007

Child Safety is a WINNER. “I never win anything,” I have heard many times from adults and children. Here’s a winning book for you then, because you are a winner, a star, a person who cares about keeping kids safe.

Simply go to Christmas break and Christmas message to you and follow the instruction of leaving a comment with either the key words of child protection or child safety and a copy of Bitss of Caramel Marmalade on Toast (pictured) will be on its way to you. This competition, that is not really a competition (”cause every-one’s a winner, baby, that’s no lie”), is open for winning child safety comments until January the 2nd, 2008.

Child safety is the winning formula because child protection is serious business.

Stay safe this Christmas. Keep two eyes out for all kids in your neighborhood because
child protection is a community responsibility.

Keep an eye on Imaginif’s monthly competitions too. Subscribe so that you don’t miss out.

Posted by Megan Bayliss | Filed Under Child Abuse | 1 Comment

WINNING Child Safety Tip

December 21, 2007

The winner of Imaginif’s December competition:
Child Safety Tips is
Joh from Joh Blogs.

Joh’s winning tip:

Never make threats about what you would do if someone hurt your child. It might scare your child from ever telling you if something did happen to them.

This tip was voted number one by all three child protection judges. Why? Making threats against child harmers is something that almost every parent does - the good parents and the not so good parents. It is also something that research tells us scares kids into NOT telling their parents. Plus, when disclosures are made and parents react in murderous overtones, sometimes the child internalises that the parent is angry at them, the child who has been harmed.

Child safety is about protecting kids and making the world a safer place for them. When children hear our political views, they may respond to our socialisation until they are old enough to learn their own mind and vote the way that suits them. When children are told that the lady down the road is crazy and to stay away from her, children believe she is crazy (because people they perceive as not crazy told them so) and taunt the poor neighbour with the information: “Crazy old Joan; crazy old Joan,” etc. When children hear that we would hunt down and kill anyone who hurt them, children may be too scared to tell us, if the toucher was someone the child really loved (Dad, Mum, Grandpa, Uncle, Priest, etc) in case we really do go and kill that person. Children are children. They do not have the cognitive and vocabulary sophistication that we do. While children may believe what comes out of our mouths, they reach as children, not as we adults would react.

I do not like that some people hurt children. I would like to see much stronger sentencing of sexual offenders. However, I also know that my views are adult views and that my strength of conviction or even my hot verbal debreifing and anecdotal stories, may just stop a child from telling me what has happened to them. I keep my mouth shut when there are kids around!

Imaginif hopes that Joh’s excellent child safety tip resonates with you. Joh has won $17.00 because that is the number of tips left. If you would like to make contact with me Joh, we’ll arrange for the money to be sent to you. I wish it was $170.00 but the cash prize was contingent on number of child safety tips left. Thanks to everyone for entering the competition. All the tips have provided ideas for other parents and may well ultimately help to keep kids safe.

A Christmas message from Megan and a chance to be sent a signed copy of Megan’s childrens protective behaviours book.

Posted by Megan Bayliss | Filed Under Child Abuse | 2 Comments

Protect Kids from Sexual Predators by Using Correct Names for Private Parts.

December 21, 2007

Correct names for body parts is important in the fight against child sexual abuse. Many parents appear to have fear around calling a vagina a vagina and an anus an anus. Instead they make up “cute” names: box, willy, peach, whistle, etc. See Google mail, because Google’s got a doodle, not a penis.

Predators know this and they also use “cute” names to trick the child into accommodating bad touch by making the inappropriate touch appear cute and normal.

An adult woman, sexually abused as a child, always viewed Boxing Day as the worse day of the year. Although subjected to non-penetrative (inappropriate touch) sexual abuse for some time, Boxing Day changed it for her.

The incestuous perpetrator suggested that he put something in her “box”, that Boxing Day was particularly for that. Already groomed to accept that her Vagina was a “box” and sanctioned by a day that was named after the specialness of little girls, the child was penile raped on Boxing Day. It took her a long time to re learn that Boxing Day was about something different, something good and decent, and that other little girls didn’t get the same treatment on that day, or any other day.

Had this child known correct terminology she may have known that the predator was tricking her. In the subsequent court case, her case may have been won if words and actions had not been confused, manipulated and supported by fact that it was indeed Boxing Day on the day of the alleged rape and that the child had somehow imagined that Boxing Day was about her box.

We don’t call an arm something different. Call a vagina a vagina and a penis a penis because that is what they are. Ignorance is not innocence. By giving our children the correct information we are protecting them, not spoiling their innocence. It is the perpetrators who will often use a child’s ignorance and rob them of their innocence.

For some protective play ideas on how to introduce using correct terminology for private body parts, check out Private Parts: What to Call Them? Also check out our BITSS of protective behaviour articles and all of our protective play ideas over in our shop.

For a lovely story written by a parent blogger have a look at Private Parts
by Booby Juice
and this beautiful post from a fellow Aussie blogger about her Christmas flashbacks.

This article, in parts, has been moved over from Megan’s previous blog site:
Child Protection: Serious Business

Posted by Megan Bayliss | Filed Under Blog, Protective Behaviours: BITSS model | 2 Comments

Christmas memories of abuse or unconditional love

December 20, 2007

Christmas can be a rough time for adult survivors of child abuse. Eighty five percent of child sexual assault is reportedly perpetrated by a family member. Domestic violence, alcohol abuse, gambling, physical abuse and emotional taunting - many of these memories of Christmas get togethers taunt children well into their adult hood. Survivors of child abuse frequently lose their balance at Christmas because the world presents a happy, united front and appears to forget about the pain entrapped in the minds and souls of hurt children.

Article by Megan Bayliss

Don’t forget. In fact, do the opposite. Ensure that this Christmas you create happy memories, not only for your own child but for other children. Reach out to someone and let them know they are not alone.

Christmas is about memories. This is what I wrote on this very day, last year:

The Smell of Christmas Memories

This morning the kitchen greeted me with the most amazingly strong smells of Christmas: Mangoes. Instantly, I was in heaven and looking down upon my innocent child hood memories of growing up in Papua New Guinea.

I remembered having Mango strings stuck between my teeth, juice dripping from my elbows and pretending I was a mango monster: holding my Mango sticky hands out front while I chased any kid that came near me.

I remember the big white smiles of the National kids of Papua New Guinea who mostly retrieved and shared their Mangoes, Five Corners and Guavas. The ease of pubic relations, international treaties of exchange, foreign affairs and diplomatic relations occurred without the need of legislation or protocol.

My memories are fantastic and I thank my parents for having facilitated such happiness.

Christmas is a time of family togetherness. With this often comes all of the family history that many people would frankly, rather forget.

Too many children experience physical, sexual and emotional abuse and neglect at Christmas time. Increased alcohol use, financial stress and family violence appear to heighten as a natural consequence of family dysfunction meeting extended family dysfunction. These atrocities perpetrated against our children are our children’s future memories.

As you enter your kitchen, lounge, bed or bathroom, take note of the smells and sounds. These sensory stimuli are what your children are going to remember in their adult hood. For many survivors of child abuse, smells trigger their dissociation, depression or own acting out of bad behaviours. Smells and memories go hand in hand.

Sniff up your past mistakes and make this Christmas a time of happy memories for your children. This does not mean you have to buy copious gifts but rather that you invest in the creation of child safety and happy memories: The absence of negative triggers replaced with family focused triggers of fond memories.

For me, the smell of Christmas memories is a big bowl of Mangoes or the smell of Frangipani blooms.

What will your child remember? As of today, YOU have the power to create new memories and contribute toward a future world of love, peace and child safety.

Child Protection: Serious Business, and all you have to do is change a couple of things that you are currently doing out of habit.

Labels: child sexual abuse, Christmas, memories

Posted by Megan Bayliss | Filed Under Child Abuse | 3 Comments

Australian’s carnival for Christmas

December 19, 2007

The year end, Christmas edition of the Carnival of Australia is up over at Colin’s, Adelaide Green Porridge Cafe.

The Carnival resumes on January the 2nd and will be hostessed at Kathie’s, soho life. That means you have to get your Aussie posts (either about Australia if you are not Australian or ANY post written by an Australian blogger, including expats - we do not discriminate, look at our Colin, he is a Scottish inpat) in on New Years Eve. Better do it now, ay! Just submit and submit.

NEW BEGINNINGS is the theme of the first Carnival of Australia for 2008. What are your hopes and aspirations for the New Year? What will the year hold for you? Because we’re Aussie and steeped in diversity of culture, we will not discriminate - if you can’t manage to write a post to fit the theme, don’t worry too much, we’ll still accept your other posts.

Thanks to all who have supported the Carnival of Australia since its inception on ANZAC Day 2007. Special thanks also to those Australian bloggers who have hosted each of these editions:

A special thank you to Meg over at Blogpond too. Meg links to the Carnival host each fortnight in her Blogpond updates. A true blue supporter of the Aussie blogger, Meg’s mateship is very Australian. Thank you Meg, for everything that you do for all of us.

You fellas all make me proud to be an Aussie. I hope you will each continue to support the Carnival of Australia and to encourage other bloggers to submit their posts.

Merry Christmas everyone. Stay safe and see you all for the first Carnival of Australia edition of 2008. January is hostessed by two women bloggers: Kathie and Sue. Will February be followed up by two male hosts?????? The gender challenge is on.

Have you got your child safety tip into our December competition?
Cash prize is dependent on number of entries. Drawn this Friday, 21.12.07.