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Teaching Emotional Intelligence: A Job for the Intelligent Parent

Emotional Spices of Life,  prompted me to take another look at a topic that has raised much conversation in the past: Teaching Emotional Intelligence.

In a Mime of Early Warning Information, I looked at developing emotional language and intelligence to help children uncover their feelings. I provided two game activities to use to get kids playing and talking about their early warning signs. Here’s another two ideas.

Scary stories or movies: Scary stories are a great way to introduce physical early warning signs. When reading a story together you can ask your child how their body is feeling. If they respond that they don’t know, reflect to them what their body is doing: curled up in a ball, fists clenched, sweating, chewing fingernails, etc.

Common physical descriptions from children: In my work with children I have heard many early warning signs. These include:

A pack of wolves in my tummy.
A ball of string with lots of knots in it.
Fire or skull and crossbones in my stomach.
A question sign/bell in my head.
Beautiful smelling flowers in my heart.
Ants biting me all over.
Legs like Mummy’s tummy, all wobbly.
An echidna in my chest.

Use some of these or invent your own when you discuss feelings with your child. By modeling a verbal description of how your body is feeling linked to the emotional word you would use, you are assisting your child to gain a greater feeling vocabulary. Use a variety of physical descriptions to match a whole range of emotions, not just scared or angry feelings. Remember the good feelings too. How would you describe the body feelings for happiness, relief and excitement? Describing feelings is not just about the painful feelings. All feelings are natural and are there to tell us something.

The emotionally intelligent child has the best chance of not being targeted by a child abuser. Will you be intelligent enough to protect your child?

Related article: Words to Explain Feelings Following Virginia Tech Shootings.

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Comments

  1. Christie Arnell says:

    Could you send me a copy via e-mail of the feelings chart that was on the original website? It has the small round faces with the feelings listed under the face in black and white.

  2. Deborah Welsh says:

    Could you send me a copy via e-mail of the feelings chart that was on the original website? It has the small round faces with the feelings listed under the face in black and white. thankyou. Also seeking more info on why teens steal/lie and how to deal with it and help teens who just don’t seem to understand their motives or the effect on others.

Trackbacks

  1. [...] Investing heavily in developing emotional intelligence in our children is the first step of reversing the sneaky behaviours of lying, stealing and hoarding. Being mindful of who we are, how we feel and what makes us tick is a gift that I long for every parent to give their children. Self Knowledge is personal power. A sense of personal power cuts through many psychological responses to trauma or emotionally based unacceptable behaviours. Read about some emotional intelligence games and activities in the Intuition section of Parent Sense. Academic intelligence is not the only thing that helps get our kids through life you know. Knowing our emotions keeps us safe from harm and from harming other people. A pretty important piece of life intelligence I would say. Be warned though, Teaching Emotional Intelligence is a job for the Intelligent Parent. [...]

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